Friday, April 17, 2015

Conversations With A Three Year Old - Why?!? Wait.......What?!?

Today's conversation brought to you by Sam's and my 25 minute commute.

Sam: Mommy, did you ever seen a blue Spongebob?

Me: No buddy, I haven't ever seen a blue Spongebob. I'm not sure he's blue. What color is he really?

Sam: He's (whispers) yellow. (Screams) NO, NO, HE'S REDGE.

Me: Orange?

Sam: No mommy, redge. If he was orange, he was Patrick. Redge.

Me: Oh that's right, Patrick is an orange starfish isn't he?

Sam: Yea (loooooonnnnnggggg pause) why?

Me: Why what?

Sam: Why is he a starfish?

Me: Because it's written in his DNA that he's a starfish.

Sam: Oh yea, his DNA. Mommy, you're a starfish. If you were a starfish, you would be called Patrick. 
And you like to eat balls......................

Crickets: (Chirping)

Me: (Giggling)

Sam: (Slowly turning to look out window)

AAANNNNNDDDDD scene. 

P.S. I'm still kind of pissed I never found out what part of the color spectrum redge lives on. I was totally going to ask that!


Monday, March 30, 2015

Holy Shit, I'm Older Than WHO?!?!?!

So I was looking for some info online today and saw a headline that read "Where Are They Now: Ultimate TV Moms". I started clicking through for S and Gs. I quickly noticed a disturbing trend in the article. 

Joanna Kerns was 32 when she entered my TV world on Growing Pains.

Judith Light and Meredith Baxter were 35 when they came on the scene on Who's the Boss and Family Ties respectively.

Phylicia Rashad was 36 when the Cosby Show debuted.

Alley Mills was 37 when she became Kevin Arnold's TV mom on The Wonder Years.

I'm 40.....and more than a half. I am a full 3-8 years older than my favorite TV moms were when they were my favorites!!!! Do you remember how "mom" they looked? How definately NOT in their 30s they seemed? How grown-up with their shoulder pads, or "done" hair, or teen-age children who are much older than me? Is that me now?

FFFUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!



Friday, March 6, 2015

Things That Are Tripping My Trigger Today

 1) My new St. Patrick's Day mug. I searched for a good four years for the perfect St. Patrick's Day mug and now, it's mine! It's even cooler in this pic because it's flanked by Cholula which is excellent on EVERYTHING and my electric pencil sharpener because I'm old school when it comes to my pencils!
 
My lucky Leprechaun mug
 
2) My new bomb ass Coach that I got last night at a silent auction fundraiser for our area women's shelter. A new purse for me at a really, really, really, really good price, and 100% of my donation going to women who are working hard to rebuild their lives. Win-win!
 
 
3) This tea towel embroidery pattern I'm totally going to buy and make for someone for Christmas. How can I not?!?!
 
Dog faced girl tea towel awesomeness!
 
 4) Animal shaming sights are hysterical. Ghostbusters kicks ass. The marriage of the two is epic.
 
Gate keeper or key master?

5) T minus 36 days and counting until Game of Thrones is back on!!!
 
Tyrion and Cersei


What's tripping your trigger right now?

There Are Two Kinds Of Toilet Paper People

I'll bet you thought this was going to be an over/under debate. Nope, there's no debate. It's over. Otherwise you're just wrong!
 
This is a whole different kind of difference. When the toilet paper roll is almost empty but NOT EMPTY at my work, I'll grab another roll and sit it on the back of the toilet or on the sink next to the toilet for when the roll is actually empty. That make me one kind of toilet paper person.
 
Then, there are the "others".
 
These are the people who take the now empty roll off of the wall, put the new roll on, and get all pissed because you didn't throw away the old roll, which wasn't empty when you left it!
 
Seriously.....empty TP :)?!?!?
 
So one of two things happened:
1) The note writer finished the roll but it wasn't quite enough for one potty break, so I should have thrown away a tiny but perfectly serviceable amount of toilet paper, and this was a note writeable offense.
2) There are three women in our office with access to this bathroom. The roll wasn't finished by me. I know the hand-writing on the note so it wasn't her. Soooo, I guess the third party could have finished the roll and not replaced it.
 
BUT....
 
The note is to "ladies", so I've been attacked and must defend myself.
Plus, there's another level to the defense of myself in this instance. I've been sick for days. Actually went home one of the days I felt so hammered horse-shitty. At no point do I remember taking my yuck out on anyone. Just sat over here, in my own germs and misery. Note writer came to work sick today, vocally and whiny sick. Then took the time to leave the bathroom, get paper and a pen, and write the note before heading home to get better.
 
But that's a whole different "two kinds of people" story............................

Friday, February 6, 2015

Never The Bridesmaid.....Until Now!

I hit 40 this last year and somehow I made it almost to that 40 mark without EVER being a bridesmaid. Looking back on my life, I can tell you why. I didn't always nurture my relationships with women. It was never mean spirited, or out of a negative place, or anything like that. I just found my male friends.....less complicated. Cut to adult me. I have friendships with awesome ladies but I wanted them to go deeper. I decided if I wanted to have better friendships, I should be a better friend.
 
I started a book club so we would have a regular, SCHEDULED time to be together. I think that might be the key. We are so busy being moms, wives, girlfriends, daughters, employees, and so many other things that we sometimes let things slide. My ladies don't deserve to slide. So we schedule the time and it happens. And we drink wine. And we discuss a book a month. And we GET to be together. And I really try hard to be a better friend than I ever was in my 20s. To listen, to be present, and to stay connected.
 
So to the title of this post. At the age of twelve I was a junior bridesmaid for a cousin and although my deep purple, water stained taffeta dress was a stunning marker of the time, it was kind of a glorified flower girl role. And so, I made it to 39 without being a bridesmaid. My friend Jenn, who I met through her fabulous fiancĂ©e Adam, who also happened to have been my high school boyfriend, asked me to be a bridesmaid for her wedding last year and I was ecstatic! Adam and I successfully got over our silly teenage selves and get to be adult friends. And then he goes and finds someone fabulous to marry. And I got to wear a pretty lavender dress and have a front row seat for that. Unfortunately for me, I was the only bridesmaid who didn't live in their state and so I missed out on lots of the pre-wedding fun.
 
This year, my dear friend Erica, who I met under MUCH weirder circumstances than even the story above, is getting married and (drumroll) asked me to be her maid of honor. I'm told that because I'm married I must be referred to as matron of honor. Screw that.....this is MY story. Maid of honor. Me. And all of the fun that comes with it. Including a stunning grey chiffon dress. I am having a ball planning my maid of honor duties like bachelorette weekend, reception set-up, and lots of little things I can't type in case Erica reads this post.
 
As if that wasn't enough, my brother, who I seriously thought would never get married, is getting married. He asked his girlfriend, who I adore (seriously, read her blog, she's fab!) to marry him and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. So I get a sister AND a third shot at this bridesmaid things. And I think she's picking a champagne sequined number for us to wear. Pretty! We'll see. I'm leaving for a bride and bridesmaid trip to try on dresses here in about an hour. I can't wait!

Maybe the lesson here is quality. I could have been a bridesmaid 15 times by the age of 30, in wedding parties of 20 people, for girls I might not still be friends with.

OR

I can realize how lucky I am to have my hand-full of truly nearest and dearest ladies, adult ladies, grown ladies, real friends, life friends, soul sisters. This is my choice.

Nurture the friendships with the people you can imagine growing old with and you'll never be sorry!

It would be bad, and sad, and I'm glad
I did meet you my lovely friends!
 

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

92% Vegetarian in a House of Meatetarians

I've been asked quite a few times how I meal plan given the fact that I strive to be 92% vegetarian and live in a house with a husband who loves his animal proteins and a growing boy who likes EVERYTHING.
 
First of all, let me explain 92% vegetarian. Of the approximately 15-20 meals and snacks I eat in a week, 50-60% contain no animal proteins or products at all. No meat, no eggs, no cheese, no milk/butter, no fish, and (hopefully) no other hidden sources of animal proteins/products. An additional 30-35% of the time, my meals contain no meat or fish but may contain an ingredient or side that has products originating from animals in it (i.e. bread, cheese, honey). And the final 5ish% of the time, I will have a meat dish that I love, usually seafood.
 
My weekly food choices are a health choice, prescribed by my doctor, not necessarily a moral one, although I urge you to be knowledgeable about the origin of your food regardless of diet. The more research I do, the more I realize that the sheer amount of hidden sources of animal products in our daily lives is absolutely astronomical! And not just in food and clothing, but in EVERYTHING. Take for instance, cosmetics, hygiene items, aquarium filters, toothpaste, vehicle lubricants, and vitamins. Some brands of each of these, and many, many other items you use daily, may contain animal products. But THAT is really another post altogether.
 
This post is about weekly/monthly meal planning for 3 people, one plant based, one more meat based, and one a happy mix. It's worth saying that I am MAD about planning. I like to plan a month at a time (see HERE). I still purchase all non-perishables once a month as described in that post but a major shift occurred when I changed my meals to be mostly plant based. I've always eaten more vegetables and  fruits than others around me but now my weekly shopping cart is fuller than it used to be because of the volume of fruits and vegetables it takes to healthfully eat a mostly plant based diet.
 
I also had to revise my former "menu on the calendar" strategy to accommodate my diet versus Jeff and Sam's diets. So I came up with this:


Created super simply in Excel, it's been a Godsend in terms of organization. Once it's written, it hangs right on the fridge for easy access.
 
Here's our family menu for the week of January 26-February 1.


I write in pencil because life is unpredictable and sometimes your hubby tells you you're having dinner with his boss and the new salesman Tuesday night. Okay okay, in this case I just marked stuff out and drew arrows to other days. Life is busy you know?!? Also, the empty spaces next to Jeff's breakfasts doesn't mean he doesn't get any. It means I had leftover mini-frittatas, sausages, and cereal bars from last week.

The N/As just mean that Sam will eat with my mom or someone has a meeting at which there will be food. Also LO means leftover because who wants to cook on Saturdays?!? Find a coded system that works for you and run with it. Quick aside: If someone else will be using your spreadsheets, of any kind, beware of your codes. For example, my code for follow up with prospects has always been "FU". Then my Board asks to see my prospect list and BOOM, I'll never live the "FU" down.

I still find recipes in a variety of sources including my head but if any of this looks crazy good to you, all you have to do is ask and I'll happily send you the recipe.

Happy organizing and eating!

P.S. I'm totally meat cheating on Superbowl Sunday...just look at all the delicious choices!
 
 

The Holiday Tree....Take 2....Valentine's Day

Last week, it was time to update the holiday tree for Valentine's Day. I might have gone overboard with this one but Hobby Lobby had SO much cute Valentine's Day stuff that was already 30% off AND I had a coupon. Plus I couldn't pass up the glitter hearts (which I plan on sharing with my brother's fiancé anyway) and the awesome red and pink heart topper!
 
So, here goes:
 
Glitter heart stickers from Dollar Tree: $1.07
Foam heart stickers from Dollar Tree: $1.07
Heart beads from Dollar Tree X 3: $3.20
Puffy red glitter hearts from Hobby Lobby: $5.12
Puffy pink glitter hearts from Hobby Lobby: $5.12
Love sign from Hobby Lobby: $1.40
Red heart topper from Hobby Lobby: $2.09
Pink heart topper from Hobby Lobby: $2.09
Various pink bows, glittery cupids, red and pink jewels: Already had them
This holiday's portion of the tree: $1.67
 
 
Total cost: Approximately $22-23
In my opinion, still not too shabby considering what I've paid for other decorations in the past.
 
Happy decorating!!!!!!!