Things I Learned About Traveling To Las Vegas With Kids By NOT Traveling To Las Vegas With Kids

I am not typically judgy of the way others raise their children. See HERE. I figure your kids, your rules. Your kids, your discretion. Your kids, your decisions. And I won't be shaming you because.........your kids, your fall-out when things go wonky. However, over the weekend I was in Las Vegas celebrating my 40th birthday (I know right. I look pretty good for 40) and I made a few observations about a town held by many to be a great place for a family vacation.

Here are a couple quotes taken directly from pro-Vegas family destination websites.

"The entire family can have a good time in Las Vegas and it does not have to seem like an excuse for the adults to get away."

"Kids can have a good time in Las Vegas and the adults will not feel as if they have chosen a destination that is not child friendly."

"The Las Vegas of today is a fun family holiday destination, with theme parks, aquariums, cinemas, bowling alleys, hi-tech video arcades, and even child-friendly stage shows."

Some of these things are true. Places like theme parks, aquariums, child friendly shows and the like do exist. So, I guess if you're coming to visit from another country and Vegas is an American "must do" for you, or you just can't bear a vacation away from parenting duties (HA), you could make it family friendly with a little extra planning. NO WAY FOR US. If you do decide to go ahead or are thinking about it, here are a couple thoughts.

If the child(ren) has been passed out in their stroller for more than an hour, TAKE THEM TO BED.

If it's after 9PM......10PM......2AM, TAKE THEM TO BED.

It's smoky there, everywhere.

There are adult beverages there, everywhere.

There's gambling there, everywhere.

There is dirty language there, everywhere.

There are boobs there, everywhere.

The M&M store, the Coke store, the Hello Kitty shops, everything really, is crazy expensive! But they'll want to go in. The store fronts are decorated up to be irresistible. Find souvenirs elsewhere.

I don't care what any article, travel brochure, review, or travel agent says, it is not a place for children in my opinion. I'd like Sam to have a few more years before he's exposed to naked, cursing, loud, drunken, gambling, revelry. But me, I was there for loud, drunken, gambling, cursing, naked (in the room of course) revelry.

That to me, is a Vegas vacation and I don't feel a bit bad for wanting, needing, and taking time to recharge my battery, and have some romance, while Sam was back home, playing in the sprinkler with his cousins and making cornstarch dough keychains for us. Fabulous, innocent kid's stuff.

I am a mother yes. I am also a grown-up who adored the chance to be a little nuts, and stay up really late, for a couple days without trying to shield Sam from the giant topless woman with a tiny fireman's hat and even tinier flame shaped pasties. Or the drunken (possibly dead) guy passed out in puke. Or the 10 million F bombs from every direction. Or the "card flippers". Or the constant swirl of smoke all around us.

Parents, you know nearly 3 year olds are the kings and queens of "why?" and "what is that?". There's just too much I'm not ready to explain about adult behavior. Las Vegas........I'm not ready to explain Las Vegas.