Resolutions.....REAL Ones

My 2015 New Year's resolutions are:

1) Take a class. Art, perhaps. I still want to learn Spanish. I also want to be a better teacher to the boys in my church class so I could learn a new curriculum for them. The possibilities are endless and exciting.

2) Schedule household chores in small daily increments so that I don't feel overwhelmed all in one day.

3) Finish putting all of the pictures and mementos in Sam's baby book. For heaven's sake, he's 3!

4) Add a mile to my runs.

5) Put $50 per pay period aside for next year's Christmas shopping. I did this in 2014 and it was super handy to have a "bank" so Christmas shopping didn't hurt. (One quick note about the $50 per pay period plan. I learned from my mistake this year and will not purchase the Visa gift cards again. When I figured up what I paid in service charges, it was over $125!!!! That makes me ill just thinking about it. It's going to be good old fashioned cash this year!)

6) Chill out. The things that people do and the stuff that happens that pisses me off will NOT exhaust my mental energy.

7) Paint the kitchen cabinets. 

And finally......

8) My special resolution with my sweet, fabulous hubby! 

You remember right Jeff? REALLY looking forward to it. Like really!

Happy 2015!!!!!

It's Official....I Have A "Holiday Tree"

Friday, December 26th

A) I did something I've never done before?

B) Dove into the belly of the beast?

C) Embraced the day after Christmas shopping sale mania?

D) All of the above?

 

All of the above of course. When my brother's fiancé Tristan (I can actually say fiancé now. He asked her to marry him on Christmas Day!!!!) initially asked me if I wanted to go, I was like "sure, like 10AM or so"? Yea right, 8AM....at the mall....on a day off. But, I thought maybe I'd find a deal or two to make it worth while. Plus, it gave me time to spend some girl-time with my (almost) sister.

 

Whatever that place in me is, the place that thinks furious shopping with hundreds of other people for a special deal is kind of silly, well that place must have been sleeping. I got great stuff, lots of it, at great prices! For example, a bowl I had been dying for at Pier 1 which although looks nothing to me like a Christmas item, was classified as such and thus 50% off, four super cute Valentine's Day books that according to the clerk were included in the holiday clearance which made them 60% off, some delish gourmet pickles that were a third of the price they normally are, a few trimmings and stocking stuffers for Christmas 2015, a few sweet deals on clothes for Sam, and me, and the Pièce de résistance...... this tree!

 

The Winter Tree

 

We were waiting in line on Pier 1 and the lady in front of us turned and said "These trees make great Easter decorations. You can hang little eggs from them". This of course got my attention because I equally adore holiday decorating and a multi-use decoration. Once I saw that they were half off, my mind was made up. Tristan's too. We each picked one up and as we were waiting for our turn, started devising plans for ALL of the holidays for which we could decorate the tree. As it turns out, I will never actually be put all the way away!

 

Above is my winter version. So, if you divide the price of the tree by the number of holidays and seasons for which I plan to decorate it (Winter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Spring, Memorial Day, Summer, 4th of July, Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas), it comes out to about $1.67 per holiday. Add to that the bells, snowflakes, and pom-poms I purchased at Dollar Tree for about $4 and the winter poinsettia dishes, crystal snowflakes, votives, and tree candy dish that I already had and this beauty cost me about $6 total. I'm adding in fractions of cents for the silver cord I used to string the bells and pom-poms and the time that it took me to put all of it together.

 

I already got much of the ornamentation for Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day during our quick stop at Dollar Tree later that morning so stay tuned for more beautiful decorations.

 

Now to figure out how to organize it all........

Happy New Year everyone!
 

P.S. I'm still NOT going to participate in Black Friday. That's 2 steps beyond for me, even now with my little taste of the awesome savings!

 

 

Let's Raise Kiddos Who Can Handle Disappointment, Not Assholes Who Rule The House!

"Make my mom make me more....".
Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?!?

I was perusing Facebook and found the following link: http://twentytwowords.com/picky-eaters-gallery/gallery/14/. It's all about kids and their ridiculous picky eating habits. It's meant to be cute but it terrifies me that this many children are so coddled in every teensy, tiny, itsy, bitsy moment. It reminded me of a blog post I read a while back insisting parents don't give in when kiddos are frustrated because they don't want "that sippy cup". Basically, it was about making sure you, the parent, stays in the drivers seat and I couldn't agree more.

 

It's not always easy to not give in. Sometimes I think, "what harm would it be to dirty 5 cups before we find the one he likes" or "why not make him a PB&J when I already made him spaghetti" but the harm is that I would be validating trivial drama, giving Sam the upper hand, and now I have 5 more cups to wash and in the sea of dirty dishes that my already busy life makes a giant pain in the ass anyway AND I'm also now a short-order cook. No thanks! So it's a VERY rare, VERY VERY rare, moment when I give in. The whining and bitching and moaning is not more than I can handle and WAYYYYYY more importantly, I don't want to raise an entitled asshole. Because really, being a parent isn't about how to make things easier for me, it's about raising a good person who functions in the real world.

 

Maybe this whole things seems trivial but I guarantee that the parents giving in to the trivial things are giving in to ALL of the trivial things. And probably not-so-trivial  arguments too. It's a symptom of a much bigger thing. I love my son. I want him to be happy with my whole heart. But I also want him to be a good person who understands that in life you don't get EXACTLY what you want all the time. So I give him the zombie cup (if it already has something in it) instead of the Nemo cup. And I say no sometimes. And I don't feel bad about any of it.

You Like Me...You Really Like Me!

Ok I admit, I lost my steam. It's been almost 2 months since I wrote anything. Not because I haven't had lots to write about but ugh, life gets downright hectic and I let a little "boo, me" get in the way. I love writing this blog regardless of a million readers or my passionate 2 who have asked me "what happened to your blog?". So, I'm back. With too much to catch up on to write it all here. So instead, there are a couple things that make me really happy today that I want to share (and actually write down, in black and white, for all 2 of you to read) because there's a lot of ick out there online right now.

 

First, this guy:

 

Only finger guns would be cuter!

My hair is getting really long and it's finally the strawberry blond that I've been coveting for far too long!

 

Jeff gets home from yet another work trip tomorrow, yay!!

 

Saturday, my mom, my brother's girlfriend, and I will be having our annual Christmas cookie bake-off night!

 

There is so much Christmas in my house, it's crazy. Like in a really over-the-top, beautiful, exciting way. All those lights and decorations make me warm inside! Here's a little snapshot:

 

This is the prettiest tree I have EVER had!

I bought a new sweater on Small Business Saturday and finally got to wear it today!

 

I've joined the 365 Items in 365 Days decluttering and organizing challenge and it's coming along nicely! Check it out https://www.facebook.com/groups/548997695196098/

 

I finished my December menu planning last night, woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

THIS is my mom's Mrs. Claus hair after a 2 mile Christmas parade float ride:

 

This hair!!!!!

Just yesterday, ANOTHER reader asked me what happened to my blog and got my fire lit again!

 

Life is good. It's all about focusing on the things, no matter how little, that make the day-to-day of it all really awesome!

 

What happened to you today that was great?

Unreasonably Rigid Restaurant Or Just A Simple Case Of An Asshole Diner?

 

I was reading an article about a restaurant in Missouri who refused a potential customer's request to prepare a meal to go. The disgruntled (not)diner placed a strongly worded complaint on Yelp.

 

The restaurant owner then replied to the review with his own thoughts on both the original request and his employee's refusal of the request.

 

 

In my opinion, BOTH were immature and this is a silly argument. I am a parent of an almost 3 year old whirling dervish of a sweetheart who can become much less of a sweetheart under certain circumstances. I also really enjoy fine dining. Finally, as much as I adore a grown up night out with Jeff, it isn't always feasible to hire a sitter, especially while we're traveling.

 

Last year, we were spending a family weekend in a town about two hours away and I had heard about a delicious French restaurant there. French food is a serious weakness for me. I visited their website and two things occurred to me.

1) I HAD to eat here.

2) It would NOT be fair to their other customers to dine in that atmosphere with a two year old.

 

I called and explained the situation and they were thrilled to offer to let me order over the phone and take it back to our hotel room kitchen/dining room to enjoy it together, stress free, and not potentially being a distraction in the restaurant. By the way, a hotel room with a kitchen/dining room is brilliant if you are traveling with littles. Extended stays usually offer this sort of room really reasonably.

 

The food was incredible. Totally worth it!! What would I have done if they had refused? I'd have been really disappointed and probably made the reservation for three and prayed for the best. I would have been massively stressed throughout dinner that Sam was going to disrupt people and I wouldn't have felt the way that I do about this restaurant. I wouldn't have written them the glowing review that I did.

 

What would I not have done if they'd refused? I wouldn't have wasted my time with a review based on a restaurant's policy. It's a stupid policy in my opinion, but it's their policy. They can be unreasonably rigid if they so desire but don't be an asshole. Take your money to someone who will be happy to get it.

 

It's a negative world and that's sad. So, my response..........the good.

 

If you are in Tulsa, you must eat at the French Hen.

 

The French Hen dining room.

The Amazing Patio

Toddler-nado enjoying our French feast.
Stress free for everyone!

The feast!

 

It's expensive, but you will not be sorry if you are a foodie. Absolutely every bite was a pleasure, the staff who helped us were beyond amazing, and the food did not suffer for us driving 5 miles back to our hotel and eating off of plain white Corelle. If you're able, eat at the restaurant. It's beautiful, elegant, and luxurious, but comfortable. They have an indoor dining area and a cute little patio that screams for a long, slow night lingering over a meal and some wine with your sweetie. I can't wait to get back someday for a mommy/daddy trip and do just that! In the meantime, if your kiddo dynamic simply won't allow dining in, pick up the phone and order to go. Tell them the Red Headed Mother sent you!

A Slumber Party?!?! Are We Here Already?

Over the weekend Sam had his first slumber party. How are we already here? Granted, Sam's friend's mommy is one of my absolute nearest and dearest for the last 25 years AND she stayed the night too, but still, it's trip to think of him "having friends". The short answer is "Of course he will." He's going to have a million friends over his life; some for a reason, some for a season, and some for life. And I want that, I really do but it all happens so fast. The best part of his slumber party was having a glass of wine and listening to their conversation once the mommies were out of the room. AND they're too little to have reached any sort of stinky boy phase that they seem to hit about 10-13. It was just sweet, innocent talk about how monster's aren't real, which toys are their favorites, and their pajamas. They may not remember their first "friend sleepover" but I don't think I'll ever forget the innocence and excitement at staying up WAY past their bed time!

 

 

He was mine again the next day and we had a blast at the pumpkin patch. This is my most wonderful time of the year and I'm working on some Halloween ideas, costumes included. Stay tuned.......

 

Corn Maze

 

This giant mama pig was his favorite!

Another first, his first caramel apple, and yes he ate the apple too, not just the caramel.

 

You've Got Mail: A (Recently Rediscovered) Lost Last Memory

 

In March of 2001, I was a graduate student working toward a masters degree in criminal justice at Northeastern University in Boston while simultaneously completing the thesis portion of a masters degree in psychology from the University of Missouri-Kansas City. I was needless to say busy, poor, and busy....wait I already said that. Although e-mail had been around for years by this time, it wasn't a common thing in my world yet. I had e-mail but really only used it at that time to send revisions of my thesis to my advisor back in Missouri. For conversation, I still used the phone, the landline phone. Whoa! How old am I?

 

My Daddy had a special family monument dedication that he had worked on for a long time to schedule, and because he wanted me to be in town, he scheduled it for my spring break. Thank God he scheduled it so I could be in town with him!! It would turn out to be our last days together because he died later that night of the dedication.

 

The day before the dedication was a lazy one. Certainly not my norm. I was used to waking up about 10-11 AM, studying until classes began at 2 PM, attending classes from 2-10 PM, studying until about 4 AM, then off to bed to start all over again the next day. But lazing about with a movie was not a normal thing for me. As "not normal" as e-mailing for EVERYTHING, like I do now.

 

Dad was lazing with me and You've Got Mail was on HBO. The kind of fluff that is You've Got Mail was a perfect thing to veg with that day. I remember thinking that as excited as Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks were to get e-mails from one another that it couldn't possibly be better than getting a letter. Full disclosure, I still believe that! I especially believe it now that e-mails are overwhelming and the written word in new form is less and less all the time.

 

I certainly didn't know that there would come a day when the majority of business, social contact, communication, and information would come to use electronically. I'm pretty sure we even remarked that it was good for jokes and stuff but not much more, people like to deal with people, and something along the lines of it's just a movie, or something like that. Little did we know what it would become to communication of all kinds 13 years ago.

 

In the early days it was exciting to "get mail", now I often shudder when I think about how many e-mails I have to deal with in a day. It's become a monster.............an unstoppable, way-too-powerful, look-I've-replaced-meaningful-face-to-face-communication, time sucker of a monster.

 

Side note: I also remember thinking that the big bad bookstore was awful for killing the cool little homey, neighborhood bookstore with oodles of personality. Now, even giant bookstores are having trouble staying in the black because of technology. Time definitely marches on and I MOSTLY march with it. But I refuse to surrender my books, my paper, my pencils and pens, my envelopes, and my stamps. I just love the smell of books, and the written word (the 'I actually wrote it with my hands' word) too much!

 

Now, how can I blog by paper and pen....................... 

I LOVE Halloween, Like In Sort Of An Obsessive Way!!

It's been cool the last several days PLUS it's mid-September so that's got me thinking about Halloween. OK, I never actually stop thinking about Halloween. Like, ever. I'm always looking for ideas to build new fun props, planning our costumes for the following year, looking for awesomely smarmy and/or truly terrifying scary movies, or looking for great merch from my favorite Halloween/pop culture scary movies, shows, and books. In fact, check out this sweet take-along cup I found at my local drug store the other night.

 

My sweet new Oogie Boogie take-along cup!

 

It's Oogie Boogie!! I can NEVER find anything with Oogie Boogie on it, it's always Jack Skellington. Jack's okay, but I always dug Oogie. I also got a pretty hilarious plush dancing Oogie to match. Sam loves it almost as much as I do. Right now, he's poised right on the sideboard in our living room, in front of a microphone I swiped from Sam's Elvis doll.

 

With Halloween only about a month and a half away, I have some pretty fun ideas for what Jeff and will create this year to join the ranks of my Halloween schwag so stay tuned..........

Carnival Food For A Bunch Of Clowns

My friend's son wanted to celebrate his 7th birthday with a clown party and knowing that I love theme parties, coming up with menus for theme parties, and cooking the food for theme parties, she asked me to cater. What do you serve to a bunch of kiddos at a clown party? Carnival food of course. It was a blast planning and executing this menu! We had:

 

Mini Corn Dogs - I bought little smokies instead of cutting up hotdogs because yummmm! I used toothpicks as the corn dog stick to save both money (Thank you Dollar Tree!) and time (no cutting necessary). A word to the wise, drain the smokies in a colander and dry them with paper towels because otherwise the batter will slide right off. Serve with mustard and ketchup.

 

Soft Pretzel Bites and Kicked Up Cheese Dip - I made bites instead of classic knot soft pretzels to save space and stretch the batch. These were great both with the cheese dip listed in the recipe and mustard! I omitted the cayenne from the cheese dip recipe because this was a kiddos party but I did add the whole amount (plus a little extra because I love it) of Frank's Red Hot. No one seemed to think it was too hot.

Cherry Tomatoes - These had a dual purpose. 1) They are one of the birthday boys FAVORITE things. 2) They look a little like clown noses :).

 

Mini Meatball Subs (Recipe below) - I made my family's favorite meatballs and absolutely drowned them in homemade tomato sauce, then served on little buns with provolone. Ok, this isn't really a carnival food but EVERYBODY loves meatballs and I hoped the hardiness of this particular snack might offset the sugar rush the kids were sure to be experiencing from the candy and punch.

 

Cotton Candy - Thank you again Dollar Tree!

 

Popcorn - I air-popped kernels in brown paper bags then spritzed with pan spray and sprinkled with popcorn salt. We love popcorn but the chemicals in the microwave stuff terrify me so this is a delicious and MUCH healthier option! Plus look at these cute bags I found.

Popcorn tastes better from a pretty bag.

 

Tie Dyed Punch - Two liters of Hawaiian punch + two liters of sprite + a carton of rainbow sherbet = a cool tie dyed effect. Yes I realize this is a lot of sugar but the cups were tiny!

 

Tie Dyed Cupcakes - I am not a baker so I got a boxed mix of white cake and once it was mixed up, I separated it into four separate bowls. I dyed them red, blue, green and yellow and then dolloped them into the cupcake papers one on top of the other for what ended up being a tie dyed effect. I topped them with red and blue icing, piped on with flower icing tips, multi-colored sprinkles, and clown cupcake toppers and circus peanuts.

Tie dyed cupcakes.

Tie dyed cupcakes



The birthday clown!

 

I think the birthday boy was pleased.

 

Sam had fun at the party too!

 

Look at these clowns.

 

Parachute fun!!!!

 

Carnival games with the other clowns!

 

Blue candy 1
Sam 0

 

AND finally, our busy day came to a close.

 

The sticky came off but the tattoo stuck around.

 

Partied out!

 

Mommy put her feet up with a patio
fire and an adult beverage.

 Meatballs

2 lbs ground beef

1/2 C parmesan cheese

1/2 C panko breadcrumbs

2 Tbsp Italian seasoning

1 tsp mustard powder

1 whole egg

1 egg white

1 Tbsp garlic powder

Salt and pepper to taste

 

Mix all ingredients together. Shape into 1 1/2 inch meatballs. Place in greased casserole dish and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. Drain grease from dish. Pour tomato sauce over and bake an additional 7-8 minutes.
 

 Tomato Sauce

15 ounce can tomato sauce

2 Tbsp Italian seasoning

1 Tbsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp ground oregano

2 Tbsp dried onion

 

Mix all ingredients and enjoy. You can literally do ANYTHING with this sauce. Pour it over pasta. Pour it over meatballs. Use it as pizza sauce. If you want meat sauce, drop in 1/2-3/4 C browned ground beef. I don't eat much meat anymore so I make meat sauce for the boys and put roasted or sautéed mushrooms in mine. It's a go-to-sauce for so much! 

He's MY Baby Too!

 

Sam will be three sooner than I want to think about and although I feel like I'm doing most things somewhere from well to awesome for his development, weeks like the last couple make me wonder about my ranking. I know there's no attachment issue because he's a loving, cuddly guy with me. But then Daddy walks into the room, or gets home, or comes through the door behind me AND........I'm chopped liver.

 

So, I wait...........

 

I read again and again how kiddos go through phases but in my head, I whine "when is it MY turn, when is the Mommy phase"? Now, he does go through phases where he seems equally a mommy's and a daddy's boy but it's only when Jeff is traveling for work (which he's done a TON of this year) that's he's mine, all mine. And yes, I do realize that it is probably exacerbated by how much Jeff has been gone. And yes, I also realize that Sam and I could not possibly be luckier to have the kind of man, husband, and daddy that Jeff is.

 

So, I wait...........

 

The first one of these phases happened WAY back when Sam was only 6 or so months old and cried and cried and cried if I tried to hold him when he could see Jeff in the room. Then, every few months or so, it all begins again. Right now it's "you can't get me out" (to me) when it's time to get out of the car, "you can't get me in" (to me) when it's time to get in the car, "where's my Daddy, you can't wake me up" (to me) when I wake him up, "where's Daddy, Daddy do stories" (to me) when it's time to go to bed, and "no, Daddy hold me" (to me) ALL the time. The one time I'm actually 100% fine with it is when it's "no, you not change my pull-up, Daddy do it".

 

So, I wait...........

 

I keep on plugging, making breakfast, lunch, and dinner, making his special "chocolate milk", giving bath time, and yes even taking my 50% turns with bedtime, even when he's asking for Daddy. And I do so with so much love in my heart that I feel like I'll burst, because regardless of his preference he IS mine, just not ALL mine. There are brief moments before he realizes Jeff has left the room that he's curled into me that are heaven, and there are times when he falls and runs to me that I hate because he's hurt, but secretly love because it's me he runs to, and there are the 24-7-365 that no matter what ever happens, he's MY baby too.

 

And so, I wait for my turn...........

Things NOT To Say To An Adoptee

 

I am adopted. It's a fact. It doesn't totally define everything about me, but it's a huge part of who I am. I have always felt very fortunate that God's plan for me provided the two people, three with the addition of my brother a little under 6 months later, with whom I was absolutely meant to grow up! I considered myself a chosen baby. To this day, there is nothing in the relationship with my mom and brother, and with the memory of my daddy that doesn't scream "real".

 

Upon finding out that it would be dangerous for me to have more children, we briefly considered adoption. Our consideration was brief and not pursued NOT because I would have considered an adopted angel any less mine, but because after getting to know my beautiful Sam, my heart is full. Nothing is missing. I am happy and at peace being a family of three. Plus we're through with midnight feedings, over bottles, binkies, and babyhood, and almost out of diapers. It's a beautiful place to be! That's not to say that my heart may never change given the right circumstances (and enough years passing since the last time I went to work with spit-up on me, exhausted from only 2 hours of sleep) but regardless of what the future holds, I will always be an adoptee.

 

I am amazed, 40 years into this life that there are still certain weird and awful things that people say when they find out that I am adopted. I hear some of the same questions being answered by friends who found their "meant to be" families through adoption as well. Some are just curious people who don't have bad intentions, just don't know how else to ask. Others are too weird to even try to prescribe reasoning to, or maybe not asked by people with the best of intentions or the nicest of hearts. Either way, here are a few of the actual questions I've received or comments that have been made to, or about, me in my life that are just wrong, weird, or hurtful. I hope it helps you when you're talking to friends and family who are adopted, or are adoptive parents.

 

1. When an adoptee becomes a the parent of a biological child, don't even dare say, "It must be nice to finally have someone look like you", or "It must be nice to finally share blood with someone". I share LOTS of things with my parents and my brother that are more important than blood. Memories, experiences, life lessons, my childhood, and lots of traditions that have made me who I am. It is wonderful to share everything with Sam that I get to share and I am proud that he grew under my heart but even prouder that he grows in my heart every day. I do think he favors me (except for his eyes, he got his dad's beautiful eyes) but it's more interesting when his manner, sense of humor, cadence, actions, nature, or words favor me and that's not necessarily DNA. Plus there are lots of parents who share blood with their children and are terrible parents. Me, I'm thankful for the sperm and egg that gave me life, but more so for my mom and dad who gave me a wonderful childhood!

2. Have you ever wanted to meet your "real" parents? What?!?! I have met them. I've been calling them mom and dad since I learned to talk. This is probably an "I didn't realize how to ask what I was trying to ask", semantics thing but it feels weird every time. I almost never referred to them as parents anyway. They are the "people who gave birth to me".

 

3. Was it weird growing up in a house with people you aren't related to? There are a million ways to configure a family but what matters most is love. LOVE. If you have that, you have everything. And I was, and am, blessed with a delicious overabundance!

 

4. Are you ever mad your parents didn't want you? I was told how badly I was wanted over and over again. I felt like a chosen baby. Until, cruel kids gave me pause. Luckily, mom and daddy were smart and strong enough to win the battle against that pause. Everything they did was to show love, give support, and provide the resources for my brother and I to develop a strong sense of self and confidence in ourselves.

 

5. How much did you cost? I can't even. Babies are expensive regardless of how they come to you and I am NOT a commodity. NO baby is a commodity, period. And money talk is tremendously tacky and none of anyone's damn business regardless of context anyway.

6. Your brother/cousin is so cute. Did you ever have feelings for him since he's not your real brother/cousin? Yep, I actually got this question. Really?!?! REALLY?!?! And not just once. And by more than one person. Blech! What the F is wrong with people?!?!? I have feelings for both my brother and my cousin. I love my brother and cousin LIKE A SISTER AND LIKE A COUSIN. Sick bastards!

 

7. Do you celebrate your birthday or do you celebrate "gotcha day"? We celebrate my birthday. We celebrate birth months actually. We never celebrated a gotcha day because we weren't purchased. We were delivered to the real parents that we were meant for. My parents wanted to give us a normal, fantastic childhood and while we were always told the truth, they worked hard to not make us feel "different". Special is one thing, but kids hate to be different.

 

8. Do you ever fantasize about going to live with your real family? This one almost always came from friends who were projecting anger of some sort at their own parents. I didn't have an angsty type of teenagehood so no. Plus how could I go live with someone I've never met, don't know how to find, don't care to find, and for whom I have no feelings. Okay, it's not actually true that I have no feelings for the man and woman who provided the sperm and egg that made me. I am grateful. Whatever their circumstances, they were loving, selfless, and smart enough to know that it wasn't meant to be.

 

9. Is it hard not to know your chance at cancer/other diseases? This was asked not only by well meaning friends who I think just didn't know how else to ask, it was also once asked of me by a medical professional. The answer is yes, but does anyone have a 100% lock on their chance at disease? If they do, where and how did they get it? This would change the world!

 

10. They're not "real" fill in the blank with last name anyway. My maiden name was my name from the age of 6 days to the age of 34 years. It's still my family's name and it still means a lot to me.When my dad died very suddenly at the age of 57, everyone took it very hard obviously and dealt with it in a massive range of ways. I was a 27 year old daddy's girl, chasing a dream of federal level law enforcement that my daddy was fanatically supportive of. I happened to be home from school and was lucky enough to share his final days with him. On the afternoon of his final day, he hosted a sign dedication at our local library in honor of his dad. There were 3 family members, including my grandmother who chose not to attend. He was devastated. After he died later that night, we were written off by those same three family members. Along the years, the comment was made that my brother and I weren't real their last name/my maiden name anyway. Seven years later when that grandmother passed away, we were left out of everything. I had held out hope that maybe she would come around and that she didn't believe that my brother and I weren't real family. It's awful to love a grandmother who doesn't (did she ever?!?!) consider you family because your dad/her son is dead and you were only ever an adopted person anyway. I hope and pray that this is very rare for adoptees.

 

11. How old were you when you got a family? I was adopted by my mom and dad at the age of 6 days. I think this is a semantics thing too but it's just kind of hurtful asked with that language. It suggests some kind of freak purgatory that adoptees share until they're wanted.

 

12. Teachers/friend's parents/friends/other family who point you out any time adoption is a topic. It seems like this is usually people just trying to relate or looking for more information but holy crap, sometimes I felt like I was wearing a great big scarlet A. A=adoptee in this case for you literary types.

 

Bottom line, if you're curious ask, but think first. Adoptees and adoptive parents the world over will thank you for thinking before you speak. I have a grateful heart for all of my family, the ones who chose me, the ones that I chose, and the ones who were chosen for me!

I Hereby Decree NOT To Do The Following Things (Which REALLY Piss Me Off) In The Future

 

I'm typically a happy person, not generally prone to throwing my emotions about, or complaining about the world around me. Sometimes, just sometimes, all forces combine on particular days and I can't help myself. However, in an effort to be constructive by way of example versus just another bitchy, busy, working mom, the following are commitments made to my future, hopefully retired, 60-65ish year old self that I might be a conscientious (i.e. not an asshole) member of my community, at least during the classic workday hours.

 

1) I hereby decree that if I drive between the hours of 7:20-8:30 AM, 11 AM-1 PM, or 4-6 PM, I will do so with purpose, and drive the frickin speed limit or better at all times. I will have a place to be, and I will have a plan to get there. No Sunday driving for me during workday busy times. NONE!! Not allowed, ever, ever, ever.

 

2) I hereby decree that I will not wander the aisles of the grocery store aimlessly between the hours of 11 AM-1 PM, Monday-Friday blocking aisles, reading EVERY pickle jar or frozen dinner box (why?), clogging aisles to gossip with the other people who have nothing else to do, and hurumphing at very polite "excuse me" requests. VERY busy mothers who have NO OTHER TIME than their lunch hours (unless they want to shop on Saturday with a pissy, screaming, running-away-from-me toddler who won't shut up about soda, candy, and cookies)  are likely trying to purchase the food which they will then bust ass on Sundays during nap time to get cooked for the whole week so that they might nourish family with healthy, unprocessed, homemade food which only needs to be heated up when they get home from work so they can enjoy a little family time during the week.

 

3) I hereby decree that I will not stop at the entrance to a round-a-bout when there is NO OTHER TRAFFIC COMING. That's a yield, not a stop, and as previously mentioned there's NO OTHER TRAFFIC COMING.......at all.......from any direction. It's dangerous to everyone behind you who didn't stop and didn't expect to because YOU DON'T STOP IF NO ONE IS COMING. Further, I WILL NOT STOP once I'm in the round-a-bout to let someone else in as this IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. If you're unsure how a round-a-bout works, ask someone, look it up, or don't drive!

 

On a side note, when people don't give the customary wave when you let them into traffic, it's okay to feel nasty thoughts at those people. It's also okay to wish a poor nights sleep, or a little diarrhea, or something awful but not long lasting on them! And flip them off.....when your kids aren't in the car of course.

 

As Dennis Miller was famous for saying to end a rant...... but maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm just a bitch and no one else notices what I notice and/or isn't bothered by a world in which people's give-a-damns seem to be busted. Or maybe I'll totally forget by the time I'm 60-65ish and 100% live in my own, rude, self-centered, unempathetic bubble. But I doubt it. It's right here in black and white to hold me accountable. And I don't think asshole is a name I'm known for.

 

Phew!!

I feel tons better now that that's off my chest.

If one person learned anything from my example, I'll be thrilled.

I'm in a happy, peaceful, loving place again.

Until the next time...................

Bring On The Crawdads....And The New Traditions!

I adore traditions. Adore, adore, adore. And we have lots! We always have Christmas enchiladas (with homemade green and red chile) on the day after Thanksgiving while we put up the tree, we give new jammies every year on Christmas Eve, and St. Patricks Day is a hoot because we stuff ourselves with my famous corned beef and cabbage while we try to catch a leprechaun and toast my Daddy who LOVED St. Patrick's Day. That's just scratching the surface but suffice to say, I love an opportunity to create a fun memory opportunity for my nearest and dearest.

 

Last year, for Labor Day, I happened to have access to a BUTT-TON of crawdads. That should be a formal measurement by the way. What to do with that many crawdads? Add shrimp, potatoes, Andouille, and corn and have a low country boil of course! Don't forget to invite a bunch of friends. Add soda or water for the kiddos and adult beverages for the grown-ups, stir and you have a helluva fun party! So fun in fact, that I couldn't stand to let the ball drop and sent out the invitation to this year's Labor Day low country boil.....in October of last year........for September of this year :)! And I'm going to send out next year's invitation soon. We have a new tradition and I love it as much as love the rest!

 

I love a low country boil because besides the food being delicious, everything cooks in one great big pot, you dump it on newspaper, eat with your hands, and when you're done, roll it all up and throw it in the compost bin.

Just look at it!

 

Make sure to put outs lots of melted butter, cocktail sauce, and hot sauce. Melted butter and hot sauce are easy but it's rare that I find a commercial cocktail sauce that I like. I don't care much for ketchup and I always want lots more horseradish. So, I did what I always do in this situation, I fooled around with a scratch recipe until it was so good my mom said I should bottle it. Instead, I'm just going to share it with you.

 

 Cocktail Sauce

1/2 C sweet Thai chili sauce

1/2 C garlic chili sauce

1/4-1/3 C Horseradish

1 Tbsp Worchestershire sauce

1 Tbsp Lemon juice

1 tsp Sambal Oelek  

2-4 Tbsp Ketchup

Salt and Pepper to taste

 

Mix and enjoy. You can adjust as you like for heat. More horseradish and/or Sambal Oelek for extra heat. More ketchup for a sweeter sauce.

 

 

 

 

Prosperity Took A Weird Form This Morning

Prosperity straight ahead, be on the lookout!

 

It's been a tough14 or so hours. I was already smarting since Jeff's flight had been cancelled and he would be away from home another day. Then last night, while out to dinner for my brother's girlfriend's birthday, Sam had a major diaper issue. I have never seen anything like it (thank goodness!!!!). I will not go into detail because ew, but I had to grab him, grab my purse and RUN out. By the time I got us to the car, I had to strip him completely nude and do my best with baby wipes and a towel from the trunk of the car. How silly is my emergency kit now?!?! As for me, well I couldn't get naked in the parking lot so I dealt with it for the drive across town......with all the windows down.......Sam upset in the back seat.......speeding a little to get home as fast as possible.

 

I got us all cleaned up once we got home and my brother and his girlfriend brought me my dinner and some cake so I really thought the night had turned around. Not even a little bit. Sam was still so wound up and kind of upset and WOULD NOT GO TO SLEEP. Then when he went to sleep, he WOULD NOT STAY ASLEEP. It's part of being a parent, but damn, it's a hard one. To know that he will likely sleep much of the next morning while you drag yourself through the workday, feeling guilty for leaving him after he had such a tough night.

 

I was feeling pretty low, and plenty exhausted, this morning and decided F it, I'm having Sonic for breakfast. If you follow my Eat To Live Journey, stop reading here :). I 100% thumbed my nose at my journey and ordered mozzarella sticks and a giant soda. It did seem to be taking longer than normal from what I remembered about ordering cheese sticks but really, I was happy to have a moment alone in the fabulously quiet car to flip through social media while I waited so I wasn't upset or annoyed. The car hop came out and was overly apologetic for my wait and explained that my first order had exploded in the fryer and they had had to make the order again. She then offered me my order free of charge AND gave me coupons for my next visit. Upon being assured that the fry cook didn't suffer any burns from the exploding cheese sticks, I graciously accepted the delicious fried cheese and sugar laden soda on the house.

 

In the midst of the overnight activities, I was going through some upcoming bills in my head and praying for a little prosperity. I used to feel bad for praying for such things but this is the real world and sometimes I am selfish. Also, my prayers for me hold the minority position to my prayers for others so I just don't feel so bad when I pray for me and my household anymore. What I think is interesting is how my prayer was answered; not exactly as I'd hoped it would be, but how I most needed it in the moment of this morning.

 

It's funny how life works. I am humbled by this seemingly small reminder to be on the lookout for my gifts, big and small. I will be thankful for the prosperity and abundance offered to me in all it's forms, even if it's just some cheese sticks and a soda. And so it is.

It Was Just One Of Those Moments, But Forever Burned Into My Memory

Sam likes it when I sing to him. He may be the only one, but he REALLY likes it. We have a roster of 4-5 songs that are in heavy rotation and a couple that leap in from time to time. This is a far cry from when he was a newborn, and I a terrified, first time, new mother. I remember a middle of the night feeding when Sam was about 3 months old. He was cranky even after his belly was full and his diaper was dry so I decided to try singing. I was panicked because in the exhausted haze of sleep deprivation, first time motherhood, and eagerness to sooth my child, I could only think of one song, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". Because it calmed him and it felt so good to hold a warm, content, quiet angel who couldn't seem to take his eyes off of mine as long as I was singing, I maybe sang it 35 times that night.

 

Cut to 2 1/2 years later. We all get full nights of sleep now, I am WAY over the brand new mommy panic, and Sam will ask me to sing to him at random times, not just in the dark of his bedroom as he falls asleep. We love The Beach Boys' "God Only Knows", Edith Paif's "La Vie En Rose", Elton John's "Your Song", and Elvis Presley's "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" (okay this one comes out a bit more like the UB40 version). As with many things, Sam's preferences are really starting to show and last night he insisted I sing "da why am I burr song". I racked my brain but couldn't think of any songs about cold that I had sung to him recently. I started a couple other songs but it wasn't any of those. I asked if he could remember anything else about the song. He replied "da why am I burr song", "da one if da angels", and finally the one that brought it home "la, la, la, la, la".

 

It had been a while but a song that I used to sing to Sam quite frequently was the Carpenters' "Close To You". I started singing "Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near" and his eyes lit up like they were on fire, he smiled so wide I thought his cheeks might crack, and his little hands couldn't clap fast enough. "Dat one mommy, dat one, da why am I burr song"!! It's ahhhhhhh-mazing what they hear, how they process information and what they remember. Last night was a little like that night so long ago. I must have sang "da why am I burr" song 20 times before he was sated.

 

And honestly, in those moments of perfect, cuddly, quiet, happy, peaceful contentment that can be rare with a two year old, it took me that long to be sated too. It was a moment when all of the hectic frustration that two year olds feel, and everyone who lives in the house with them get to feel too just falls away. It was a heavenly moment. A truly peaceful, nothing else matters moment. A snippet of time where I was completely, utterly, IN the moment. It was our moment, and it was good.

 

Hold him a little longer.
Rock him a little more.
Tell him another story
(you've only told him four).
Let him sleep on your shoulder.
Rejoice in his happy smile.
He is only two and a half
for such a little while!

 

There's Nothing To Do Around Here.........I Call BS!!!!

I absolutely shudder when I hear people say, there's nothing to do around here. Ok, I know it's part of my job as a Chamber rep to know what is going on in the area but even if it wasn't, I would find a way to find out where the fun is. Why, because I like fun, I like laughing, I like watching Sam laugh, I like creating memories, and I like finding new cool things!

 

Not far from where I live, the Friestatt Lion's Club puts on an Ocktoberfest....in August....in Missouri....outside. Sound hot? It is, but it's also a cheap(ish) night of fun! Bier Garten for mom and dad, carnival rides and games for the kiddos, polka, brats, and strudel for everyone!!!!

 

I hadn't been since I was about 10, and Jeff, Sam, and my brother's girlfriend Tristan had never been. Win, win, win. Sam went absolutely ape for the little car ride and the giant slide and because he's ridiculously adorable, I had a hard time choosing which picture to use to show him off so...........

 

 

 

This is not even all on the same ride cycle, this is three different times. Oh, but there were more rides.

 

 

And then, there was the slide. We spent about $20 (that's why I said cheap(ish) fun above) and half an hour JUST on the slide. I'll bet we went down 8-10 times. Thank goodness there wasn't much of a line. Sam even convinced an always stoic, sometimes stick-in-the-mud Uncle Tyson to go down the slide. That's an achievement!

 

 

So the rides could use a paint job and you couldn't pay me to get on the ferris wheel. Sam didn't notice the chipped paint and the squeaky cars, dragons, lady bugs, and horses were drowned out by his laughter.

 

It also turns out that Tristan has a hell of a throwing arm! Three creepy, stuffed clowns knocked over just like that. One, two three, hello giant teddy bear. Sam loves him and named him Sunshine which is really cool because that's the name of Tristan's blog and there's just no way he could know that. Hmmmmmm. Anyway, a giant blue bear named Sunshine lives in Sam's bed now.

 

 

We had an absolute feast for dinner and I found a new beer that I love.

 

 

My point is this. If you aren't sure what is going on in your area, log on to Facebook, check the bulletin board at the library, or even call your local Chamber or CVB. And NEVER say "there's nothing going on". You may have to drive 30 whole minutes like we did but fun is out there, waiting to be found.

 

Find it!