Just Freaking RSVP Already!

I am super pumped to be the Maid (Matron?) of Honor for my great friend Erica this weekend and have been planning the crap out of her bachelorette party/bridal shower for a couple of months now. Mostly because I made it 40 years without ever having been asked, and I'm as stoked as my three year old is when I let him have Lemonheads, but also because I love to plan. In all fairness, I am most definitely an over the top planner so maybe it's too much to expect RSVPs when you ask for them. Wait..........no, no it's not. Most of the etiquette rules that I learned from my mom (thanks Mom!!!) have gone the way of the ladies bridge club, and no one seems to mind. In fact, I was recently told by a person in my sphere that the paper thank you cards that I write, and mail, and enjoy, are a "waste of time". Huh? Since when did being a polite human become a waste of time? Who's the asshole here? If I'm a manners dinosaur, so be it but for the love of all that is dear, JUST FREAKING RSVP ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm A Food Column Writer? <----- The Question Mark Is On Purpose

Last week I was going about my own business, sitting in a business meeting with my local newspaper when BOOM, a simple comment landed me a new writing obligation opportunity.

Like many small town newspapers, ours is experiencing the growing pains, some might say the death spasms, of traditional print media in a world being overrun with electronics and "right now" news via the myriad choices of computer technology that are available to us. Our newspaper is a scrappy bunch though, who aren't ready to throw in the (paper) towel just yet. Yes they are expanding their online presence. Yes they are cutting the days of the week they are available. But yes, they are also bringing their content back to producing 100% local news, 100% of the time. And adding magazine type features from community members with particular skill sets or areas of expertise. They believe their choices will save them, and I truly hope they're right.

As the meeting was winding down, we were casually kicking around local people who might be able to provide articles of interest for the community, and I offhandedly said "I could write a food column". They jumped straight on it! Wait...what?!?! I was kind of joking. Or was I?  In retrospect I think that I just didn't think that they would take me seriously.

So there you have it, I'm a food column writer now. And at first I was like, "dammit, what did I get myself into?" but after thinking about it for a day or two, I'm stoked. I LOVE the written word. I LOVE my local town. And, I LOVE food.

So the lesson is be careful what you say........or at least be sure that if you make a comment in passing, you mean it at least a little bit!

P.S. I'm totally going to be fine. I have a shit-ton of ideas already :).

Conversations With A Three Year Old - Why?!? Wait.......What?!?

Today's conversation brought to you by Sam's and my 25 minute commute.

Sam: Mommy, did you ever seen a blue Spongebob?

Me: No buddy, I haven't ever seen a blue Spongebob. I'm not sure he's blue. What color is he really?

Sam: He's (whispers) yellow. (Screams) NO, NO, HE'S REDGE.

Me: Orange?

Sam: No mommy, redge. If he was orange, he was Patrick. Redge.

Me: Oh that's right, Patrick is an orange starfish isn't he?

Sam: Yea (loooooonnnnnggggg pause) why?

Me: Why what?

Sam: Why is he a starfish?

Me: Because it's written in his DNA that he's a starfish.

Sam: Oh yea, his DNA. Mommy, you're a starfish. If you were a starfish, you would be called Patrick. 

And you like to eat balls......................

Crickets: (Chirping)

Me: (Giggling)

Sam: (Slowly turning to look out window)

AAANNNNNDDDDD scene. 

P.S. I'm still kind of pissed I never found out what part of the color spectrum redge lives on. I was totally going to ask that!

Holy Shit, I'm Older Than WHO?!?!?!

So I was looking for some info online today and saw a headline that read "Where Are They Now: Ultimate TV Moms". I started clicking through for S and Gs. I quickly noticed a disturbing trend in the article. 

Joanna Kerns was 32 when she entered my TV world on Growing Pains.

Judith Light and Meredith Baxter were 35 when they came on the scene on Who's the Boss and Family Ties respectively.

Phylicia Rashad was 36 when the Cosby Show debuted.

Alley Mills was 37 when she became Kevin Arnold's TV mom on The Wonder Years.

I'm 40.....and more than a half. I am a full 3-8 years older than my favorite TV moms were when they were my favorites!!!! Do you remember how "mom" they looked? How definately NOT in their 30s they seemed? How grown-up with their shoulder pads, or "done" hair, or teen-age children who are much older than me? Is that me now?

FFFUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Things That Are Tripping My Trigger Today

 1) My new St. Patrick's Day mug. I searched for a good four years for the perfect St. Patrick's Day mug and now, it's mine! It's even cooler in this pic because it's flanked by Cholula which is excellent on EVERYTHING and my electric pencil sharpener because I'm old school when it comes to my pencils!

 

My lucky Leprechaun mug

 

2) My new bomb ass Coach that I got last night at a silent auction fundraiser for our area women's shelter. A new purse for me at a really, really, really, really good price, and 100% of my donation going to women who are working hard to rebuild their lives. Win-win!

 

 

3) This tea towel embroidery pattern I'm totally going to buy and make for someone for Christmas. How can I not?!?!

 

Dog faced girl tea towel awesomeness!

 

 4) Animal shaming sights are hysterical. Ghostbusters kicks ass. The marriage of the two is epic.

 

Gate keeper or key master?

5) T minus 36 days and counting until Game of Thrones is back on!!!

 

Tyrion and Cersei

What's tripping your trigger right now?

There Are Two Kinds Of Toilet Paper People

I'll bet you thought this was going to be an over/under debate. Nope, there's no debate. It's over. Otherwise you're just wrong!

 

This is a whole different kind of difference. When the toilet paper roll is almost empty but NOT EMPTY at my work, I'll grab another roll and sit it on the back of the toilet or on the sink next to the toilet for when the roll is actually empty. That make me one kind of toilet paper person.

 

Then, there are the "others".

 

These are the people who take the now empty roll off of the wall, put the new roll on, and get all pissed because you didn't throw away the old roll, which wasn't empty when you left it!

 

Seriously.....empty TP :)?!?!?

 

So one of two things happened:

1) The note writer finished the roll but it wasn't quite enough for one potty break, so I should have thrown away a tiny but perfectly serviceable amount of toilet paper, and this was a note writeable offense.

2) There are three women in our office with access to this bathroom. The roll wasn't finished by me. I know the hand-writing on the note so it wasn't her. Soooo, I guess the third party could have finished the roll and not replaced it.

 

BUT....

 

The note is to "ladies", so I've been attacked and must defend myself.

Plus, there's another level to the defense of myself in this instance. I've been sick for days. Actually went home one of the days I felt so hammered horse-shitty. At no point do I remember taking my yuck out on anyone. Just sat over here, in my own germs and misery. Note writer came to work sick today, vocally and whiny sick. Then took the time to leave the bathroom, get paper and a pen, and write the note before heading home to get better.

 

But that's a whole different "two kinds of people" story............................

Never The Bridesmaid.....Until Now!

I hit 40 this last year and somehow I made it almost to that 40 mark without EVER being a bridesmaid. Looking back on my life, I can tell you why. I didn't always nurture my relationships with women. It was never mean spirited, or out of a negative place, or anything like that. I just found my male friends.....less complicated. Cut to adult me. I have friendships with awesome ladies but I wanted them to go deeper. I decided if I wanted to have better friendships, I should be a better friend.
 

I started a book club so we would have a regular, SCHEDULED time to be together. I think that might be the key. We are so busy being moms, wives, girlfriends, daughters, employees, and so many other things that we sometimes let things slide. My ladies don't deserve to slide. So we schedule the time and it happens. And we drink wine. And we discuss a book a month. And we GET to be together. And I really try hard to be a better friend than I ever was in my 20s. To listen, to be present, and to stay connected.
 

So to the title of this post. At the age of twelve I was a junior bridesmaid for a cousin and although my deep purple, water stained taffeta dress was a stunning marker of the time, it was kind of a glorified flower girl role. And so, I made it to 39 without being a bridesmaid. My friend Jenn, who I met through her fabulous fiancée Adam, who also happened to have been my high school boyfriend, asked me to be a bridesmaid for her wedding last year and I was ecstatic! Adam and I successfully got over our silly teenage selves and get to be adult friends. And then he goes and finds someone fabulous to marry. And I got to wear a pretty lavender dress and have a front row seat for that. Unfortunately for me, I was the only bridesmaid who didn't live in their state and so I missed out on lots of the pre-wedding fun.
 

This year, my dear friend Erica, who I met under MUCH weirder circumstances than even the story above, is getting married and (drumroll) asked me to be her maid of honor. I'm told that because I'm married I must be referred to as matron of honor. Screw that.....this is MY story. Maid of honor. Me. And all of the fun that comes with it. Including a stunning grey chiffon dress. I am having a ball planning my maid of honor duties like bachelorette weekend, reception set-up, and lots of little things I can't type in case Erica reads this post.
 

As if that wasn't enough, my brother, who I seriously thought would never get married, is getting married. He asked his girlfriend, who I adore (seriously, read her blog, she's fab!) to marry him and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. So I get a sister AND a third shot at this bridesmaid things. And I think she's picking a champagne sequined number for us to wear. Pretty! We'll see. I'm leaving for a bride and bridesmaid trip to try on dresses here in about an hour. I can't wait!

Maybe the lesson here is quality. I could have been a bridesmaid 15 times by the age of 30, in wedding parties of 20 people, for girls I might not still be friends with.

OR

I can realize how lucky I am to have my hand-full of truly nearest and dearest ladies, adult ladies, grown ladies, real friends, life friends, soul sisters. This is my choice.

Nurture the friendships with the people you can imagine growing old with and you'll never be sorry!

It would be bad, and sad, and I'm glad
I did meet you my lovely friends!

 

92% Vegetarian in a House of Meatetarians

I've been asked quite a few times how I meal plan given the fact that I strive to be 92% vegetarian and live in a house with a husband who loves his animal proteins and a growing boy who likes EVERYTHING.

 

First of all, let me explain 92% vegetarian. Of the approximately 15-20 meals and snacks I eat in a week, 50-60% contain no animal proteins or products at all. No meat, no eggs, no cheese, no milk/butter, no fish, and (hopefully) no other hidden sources of animal proteins/products. An additional 30-35% of the time, my meals contain no meat or fish but may contain an ingredient or side that has products originating from animals in it (i.e. bread, cheese, honey). And the final 5ish% of the time, I will have a meat dish that I love, usually seafood.

 

My weekly food choices are a health choice, prescribed by my doctor, not necessarily a moral one, although I urge you to be knowledgeable about the origin of your food regardless of diet. The more research I do, the more I realize that the sheer amount of hidden sources of animal products in our daily lives is absolutely astronomical! And not just in food and clothing, but in EVERYTHING. Take for instance, cosmetics, hygiene items, aquarium filters, toothpaste, vehicle lubricants, and vitamins. Some brands of each of these, and many, many other items you use daily, may contain animal products. But THAT is really another post altogether.

 

This post is about weekly/monthly meal planning for 3 people, one plant based, one more meat based, and one a happy mix. It's worth saying that I am MAD about planning. I like to plan a month at a time (see HERE). I still purchase all non-perishables once a month as described in that post but a major shift occurred when I changed my meals to be mostly plant based. I've always eaten more vegetables and  fruits than others around me but now my weekly shopping cart is fuller than it used to be because of the volume of fruits and vegetables it takes to healthfully eat a mostly plant based diet.

 

I also had to revise my former "menu on the calendar" strategy to accommodate my diet versus Jeff and Sam's diets. So I came up with this:

Created super simply in Excel, it's been a Godsend in terms of organization. Once it's written, it hangs right on the fridge for easy access.

 

Here's our family menu for the week of January 26-February 1.

I write in pencil because life is unpredictable and sometimes your hubby tells you you're having dinner with his boss and the new salesman Tuesday night. Okay okay, in this case I just marked stuff out and drew arrows to other days. Life is busy you know?!? Also, the empty spaces next to Jeff's breakfasts doesn't mean he doesn't get any. It means I had leftover mini-frittatas, sausages, and cereal bars from last week.

The N/As just mean that Sam will eat with my mom or someone has a meeting at which there will be food. Also LO means leftover because who wants to cook on Saturdays?!? Find a coded system that works for you and run with it. Quick aside: If someone else will be using your spreadsheets, of any kind, beware of your codes. For example, my code for follow up with prospects has always been "FU". Then my Board asks to see my prospect list and BOOM, I'll never live the "FU" down.

I still find recipes in a variety of sources including my head but if any of this looks crazy good to you, all you have to do is ask and I'll happily send you the recipe.

Happy organizing and eating!

P.S. I'm totally meat cheating on Superbowl Sunday...just look at all the delicious choices!

 

 

The Holiday Tree....Take 2....Valentine's Day

Last week, it was time to update the holiday tree for Valentine's Day. I might have gone overboard with this one but Hobby Lobby had SO much cute Valentine's Day stuff that was already 30% off AND I had a coupon. Plus I couldn't pass up the glitter hearts (which I plan on sharing with my brother's fiancé anyway) and the awesome red and pink heart topper!

 

So, here goes:

 

Glitter heart stickers from Dollar Tree: $1.07

Foam heart stickers from Dollar Tree: $1.07

Heart beads from Dollar Tree X 3: $3.20

Puffy red glitter hearts from Hobby Lobby: $5.12

Puffy pink glitter hearts from Hobby Lobby: $5.12

Love sign from Hobby Lobby: $1.40

Red heart topper from Hobby Lobby: $2.09

Pink heart topper from Hobby Lobby: $2.09

Various pink bows, glittery cupids, red and pink jewels: Already had them

This holiday's portion of the tree: $1.67

 

 

Total cost: Approximately $22-23

In my opinion, still not too shabby considering what I've paid for other decorations in the past.

 

Happy decorating!!!!!!!

Unintentional Epiphany

Untangling the tech?!?!

 

Today, I woke up wound. Amped. Jazzed. I didn't want to be still. It was exactly 3 minutes before the 5:05 alarm. Honestly, who can't use an extra 3 minutes to the day? Luckily for my spirited mood, it's Wednesday. That means it's a running day. I quite literally hit the ground running.

 

Typically I run, then I sit down for 15-30 minutes with my social media but not today. After my run, I was even more amped. Not in an edgy, agitated way, just wanted (NEEDED) to do something, to be busy, to be active. So I jumped straight into the shower, got dressed and ready for work and had almost half an hour to spare.

 

So.....

 

I got a load of laundry put away, another load started, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen countertop, and still had an extra 5 more minutes than normal to get Sam up and ready for the day. Easily, slowly, and gently. No one was rushed. Everyone had time to move into the day at a comfortable pace. Things I wouldn't have wanted to do tonight when I get home got done. Everyone wins.

 

I never intended to have a 'no social media in the morning' policy. I never committed to 'more work, less mindless scrolling' before work and yet, there you have it. It was unintentional but EUREKA. Shit gets done when I don't pick my phone/tablet/laptop up first thing.

 

I'm still not going to draw any sort of proverbial line in the social media sand but damn if it didn't feel good to start my day happily, productively, and with purpose. I don't need all of the depressing, overly dramatic, sorry state of the world, borderline nuts crap of Facebook to start my day anyway.

 

We'll see if there's any permanent shift in my morning routine. I'm betting on it............

Universe: Feel Like You' Having A Pretty Good Day Do You? Check This Out

So I was having a pretty good day. It's Friday. Jeff's coming home today. I'm excited to get my new couch tomorrow. The farmer's salad with chive dressing I made for lunch is deliciously healthy. AND, I had a great running week.

 

So what happens????????

I lean down to pick up some trash at work and RRRIIIIIPPPPPPP, right down the back seam of my jeans. Well shit!

 

 

I live in the next town over from work. Not really practical to run home and change. I never thought I'd say this. Thank God for that one big box store that's in every small town in America.

 

So now comes the reality check. I'm purposely writing this and publishing it to embarrass myself.

I run because I like it.

I eat (mostly) vegan, 95% vegetarian anyway because you Mr. doc told me it would help.

I went to the doctor to find out about the F-ed up hormones, thyroid, and liver crap I've got going on.
I take the meds and supplements you told me to because you said I would get better, for the last year and almost half!

AND, I drink approximately 128 ounces of water a day so, what the shit universe?

Why is nothing happening? I'm tired, sweaty, itchy, on edge, and fat.

 

Is it the wine? The occasional bread? Fine

Do I need to double the runs? Fine

Do I need to go back to the doctor and rethink my F-ing meds? Fine

 

Get it? I'm mad. Hopping mad. And I'm not going to take this lying down.

 

 

I'm asking questions until I'm blue in the face! I'm giving up lots of stuff already but I'll give up more if I have to! I'll add to the running schedule (and maybe add some yoga to cool the hell down)!

 

Stay tuned. This is not a new year, new me thing. This shit's already been going on for a year and half. This is a quest. A mission. I need answers. Why I'm not getting better with a completely changed EVERYTHING lifestyle? Doesn't it stand to reason that if I change practically everything, SOMETHING should change?

 

First step, schedule a new appointment with my doc because this shit with my liver, hormones, and thyroid isn't working.

Done, see you in 2 1/2 weeks doc.

 

Next step, because I can't run the pissed out of me since I'm wearing my work clothes and I only have 20 minutes left on my lunch hour.........publish this so I am accountable aaaannnnndddd breath.

 

Darth Vader Will Shoot Me For Not Having Any Pants On

The last week or so has been a toughie because my sweet, three year old and his incredible imagination decided to go on an adventure of the most terrifying (for him) and gut wrenching (for me) kind.

 

His rapidly expanding imagination + the anxiety of occasional potty training accidents + Daddy leaving for a week for work + random daycare monster talk = an afraid to go to sleep, terrified screaming waking up from nightmare little guy.

 

There were flies in his eyes, ears, and nose. There was a giant yellow flying cat that came in through the front door, flew into his room, and was scratching him "really really bad", and there were monsters.

 

The fear not only kept him from wanting to sleep for two full nights and three nap times, it also threw potty training back some. We are working on the training set back of course. As for the nightmares, before Daddy had to leave, Sam and Daddy created a very special magic wand to fight all the nasty, scary things that might make Sam feel scared.

 

We gave Sam the power by letting him spray paint the dowel rod, choose the tape for the handle, draw "magic" symbols on the dowel rod, and choose the jewel for the top of the wand (all things I already had in my crafting arsenal but not more than a couple dollars worth of supplies). He used his wand to " trap the monsties and other bad fings" in the dream catcher in his bedroom, and ahhhhh, last night was night three of sleeping through the night for him. Return on my couple dollars of craft supplies..................100%!!

 

Ha ha, I can use his imagination for good just as easily as he was using it for scary things.

 

I did have to buy him special "nighttime undies"  JUST for the time being so that we could put that anxiety on hold until he works all the way through the other fears.

 

 

I think we're through them, or at least very nearly so anyway. Observe, here is a happy boy, with his magic wand laying across him, who slept through the night, went to the potty as soon as he woke up and then while I put on my make-up for work he laid in my bed and told me "Mommy, if you don't put pants on Darth Vader will come and he will shoot you until you put pants on. They won't be owey though, it will just tickle you until you put pants on."

 

Lessons learned:

1) Give your little the lead in creating their special tchotchkes, rituals, or whatever it is that comforts them when they're afraid. His lead-his power.

2) Wear pants while you put on your make-up so Darth Vader doesn't come and shoot you.

Have Random Thoughts? Crap At Actual Art? Why Not Start A Collage Journal?

I kept a line-a-day journal for 3 years and absolutely loved it............for a time. My "falling out of love" happened gradually. It just wasn't enough. We didn't click anymore. I always wanted to add magazine cuttings, or stickers, or color in it, or more often than not, I simply ran out of room.

 

A couple weeks ago, a business that I work with delivered 2015 planners. As you may, or may not know, I am fiercely loyal to the Erin Condrin planner. Read about that HERE. So having had my 2015 planner already (come on, I ordered it in September!), I put the new planner out on our freebies table at my work. Unbeknownst to me, my sneaky little mind had been chipping little hints off of pins that I'd seen while surfing Pinterest. Pins about art journals, smash books, passion planners, travel journals, notebooking, visual journals, calendar journals, and old book journals.

 

That night, I dreamt about it. I dreamt that that planner would be a perfect background for a marriage of ALL of those things. So, the next morning, I snatched it straight off of the freebies table, put it straight back into my bag, and took it home to have my way with it. I am six entries in, and it's divine. It's perfect in it's lack of perfection. I get to collage, throw verbal darts at each day, and embellish. However I want. Without worrying that the art isn't good or that I might run out of room. AND, it's original planner structure means that I have a "daily" structure so it still serves as a daily journal of my thoughts, experiences, and goings on.

 

Here are the first four days:

 

 

If this gets your fire going like it did mine, find a cheap planner and jump in without even thinking about it! The ring bound type works really well because it will expand! I already had lots of stickers, washi tape, crayons, magazines, and pretty card covers to get me started. I did have to take a trip to my local office supply store for colored pens, colored pencils, highlighters, and double sided tape. Lucky for me, I adore the office supply store.

 

Happy collaging!

Sloppy Sweets

Every once in a while you stumble on to a brilliant meal when you're just goofing off in the kitchen and looking for a new twist on an old favorite. A few months ago, I was hungry for something sloppy joe-ish but without bread, ketchup, and I really didn't want beef. You may be thinking, okay you've taken out everything that makes it a sloppy joe, but remember, I said ish, sloppy joe-ish. In my opinion, I improved the dish immensely, mostly through the use of sweet potatoes. I LOVE sweet potatoes!! And they are crazy good for you. See HERE for a few of the ways they are good for you.

 

 Now the idea of a sloppy joe covered baked potato isn't new, the idea of alternate meats isn't new AND the idea of NO ketchup isn't new but combine them all with a little extra finessing and I give you sloppy sweets:

 

Sloppy Sweets

4 sweet potatoes

2T butter

1/2 C chopped onion
1/2 C carrot, small dice or shredded

1 stalk celery, chopped

1 lb ground turkey or chicken

1/4 C diced tomatoes

1/2 C tomato sauce

1/3 C sweet chili sauce

1 T dark red chili powder

1/2 t each garlic powder, onion powder

Dash of cumin
A couple grates of nutmeg

1/2 C shredded cheddar or mozzarella (both are awesome)

 

   Bake potatoes (prick a couple times with a fork) in 350 degree oven for about 30-45 minutes depending on size or microwave for about 15 minutes. I prefer the texture of a baked sweet potato but you can microwave if you're pinched for time. Melt half of the butter in the pan and cook the onion, carrot, and celery until tender about 7-8 minutes over medium heat. Add turkey or chicken, salt and pepper to taste. Cook until no longer pink. Stir in diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, chili sauce, 1/4 C water, chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, and nutmeg. Cook until meat is cooked through, about 5 minutes. Split potatoes, dot with second half of butter, and top with meat mixture. Sprinkle cheese over the top and enjoy.      

Do yourself a favor, jump out to the store in the morning and make this for lunch. Your taste buds, and everyone in your house, will thank you.......and then ask when you're making it again!