I've Seriously HAD IT With All The Shaming!

I was out of work sick and slept most of the day Tuesday. The moments I was awake were split between lying in bed staring at the ceiling (which got old) and catching up on blogs I haven't had a chance to read in a while, and finding some new blogs that I love (which never gets old). 

 

I found approximately 15 new recipes I can't wait to try, 2 projects that I can't wait to get started on (one of which is pretty substantial so stay tuned), 3 or 4 blogs that I added to my blog reading list, was prompted with ideas for about 3 posts I will be making in the next few weeks, and reached the end of my rope with mommy-to-mommy, woman-to-man, non-mommy-to-mommy, mommy-to-non-mommy, and just about ever other conceivable combination of people that you can think of, shaming one another.

 

This particular frustration and drive to post began with the blog of a young mother of two gorgeous kiddos who was excitedly posting pictures of herself each week of her pregnancy with a blackboard behind her stating weeks pregnant, size of baby, etc. You've seen tons of these no doubt. Anyway she was rail thin, I mean tiny, at 18 weeks. Frankly, I was thinking, as long as she's seeing her doctor regularly throughout her pregnancy (she was) and the doc wasn't overly concerned, good for her for keeping herself fit at a time when it's too too easy to go "screw it, bring on the cake!". People were tearing this woman apart for being too skinny, for having too much make-up, for being proud of only having gained a certain amount of weight, and so on....on her own blog AND on other sites as well. She responded confidently and with a cool head, but it got me to thinking, how many things we judge, blame, shame, and criticize that are none of our business.

 

Wait, these thoughts actually jumped to the front of my brain even a little earlier when a couple weeks ago a (I guess) well meaning friend made some comments on how I "HAD to" fix meat for the boys when I can't have it and how that was "almost cruel" of them to expect. My response was a polite explanation of how it did not bother me followed by a not so polite statement of "I can't begin to explain how much this isn't your business" when pressed further.

 

All this shaming and competitive momming actually starts when you first announce you're pregnant, like in the next breath of the conversation. You start having to have exhausting, annoying conversations about immunizing vs. not, attachment vs. babywise, breast feeding vs. bottle, cloth vs. disposable, over the top birthday party vs. no birthday party, stay-at-home vs. working outside the home, full on vegan vs. full on carnivorous, sugary drink loving household, vaginal vs. C-section birth, binkie vs. no, swaddling vs. not, and on and on and on and on. I was absolutely inundated with unsolicited, unwanted advice. No, not advice, demands. At least they felt like demands, about what I should do, what I should decide, and which side of every fence I just HAD to land on.

 

There are a few things that are in my nature that made this even harder to stomach.

1) I'm a researcher. I got this. Don't think I didn't ingest every article, website, book, anecdote, and story that I could before I made intelligent, informed decisions about my child.

2) Peer pressure doesn't work on me. Never has. Just pisses me off.

3) I have a lifetime of experiences unique to ME that have shaped my core, and that's going to be impossible to change with your judgement. You have the same lifetime, only yours is unique to YOU.

 

So, if you choose to name your child #threefriggineighty, Wicked Witch, or Hootie McFarthead, that's your business. I feel sorry for the little tyke when they enter school but it's you who will have to deal with all of that fall-out. If you choose to give your 3 month old a French manicure, I would wonder if the polish was safe to go in a baby's mouth as it most definitely would, but beyond that, it's your time and effort spent. If you choose to enter the arena of competitive momming whereby your child's birthday party costs 5K and the goodie bags cost 50 bucks each, it's your $5500. Stopping short of physically harming your child with body modification, neglect, or abuse, or seriously damaging them psychologically with neglect or abuse in whatever form that might take, the absolute most you'll get from me is a hearty eye-roll. And I'll even hide that from you, lest I be drug into any additional debate. I realize this is a little contrary to the rest of my post but sometimes when I see a two month old with pierced ears or a child with no coat on when it's 35 degrees outside, I can't help myself.

 

I remember being about 10 and asking my mom why women couldn't be nicer to each other. I was actually asking about girls because some of the girls at school were being horrible to me. It holds into adulthood though. We're all sisters doing the best we can with our individual life's circumstances. She didn't have an answer for me then and I don't have an answer now. I still wonder why. Why aren't we supportive to women who need help, or just want to share conversation, experiences, and time because we're friends? Why aren't we loving and nurturing to each other, when we need it most, or perhaps even when we deserve it least? I don't agree with all of the choices my friends, family, and acquaintances make but guess what? Their children are not my children and that's where any argument ends. Because at the end of the day, I only have all of the information on one kiddo.

 

You know the only thing worse than mommy shaming? When husbands get involved........ That's another post. In the meantime, read on. I can't find an author's name but I couldn't bare not to share.

 

To the mom who's breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You're a good mom.

To the mom who's formula feeding: Isn't science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn't produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You're a good mom.

To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You're a good mom.

To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it's excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You're a good mom.

To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn't easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You're a good mom.

To the mom who works: It's wonderful that you're sticking to your career, you're a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it's fantastic. You're a good mom.

To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you're too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You're feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren't complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You're a good mom.

To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they're learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can't run around. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don't they? We've all been through it. You're a good mom.

To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.

 

In the eyes of our children, we're all kind of superheroes anyway, even when we feel outstandingly, overwhelmingly, absolutely average.

 

 

 

Weekend Top 5 Recap

Does anything really turn out just as we thought it would? This weekend was another small lesson, for me, in living in the moment.

 

1) I got the extra big boy undies I intended to get. Sam is still in love with his big boy undies. We only gave the undies with no pull up two long-ish chances this weekend. One he succeeded in, one he didn't. In honor of how good he is doing, Saturday was HIS day. That's part of the reason that we didn't get lots of chances to try the undies with no pull ups combo. We went to Chuck's House (Chuck E. Cheese) for lunch and games and then Toys R Us for a new laser gun. Some of my friends think I'm crazy to love Chuck E. Cheese but Sam's happiness there makes it totally worth it and I sort of love it for the skee ball and "shovel" games too. Thank goodness for their salad bar so I was able to keep close to healthy.

 

Monster teeth are awesome!

Dancing "if" Chuck.

Yep, he's a blur when he's cutting a rug!

 

2) Jeff was a good boy in high school. There was NO DIRT!!!!! Not even an ex-girlfriend to eyeball or any rivalries still pending, :). I did meet some lovely people from his graduating class and it was a kick watching them remember their school years together. They even went through their 6th grade time capsule that none of them had seen since 1988. That was kind of cool and really sweet. In addition to no dirt............there was no adult beverage choice. Now that's not the only reason, or even one of the top reasons we went, but come on, it's date night. We got a baby sitter. Luckily, right on the way home (and only 3 blocks from home should we overdo it) is a hopping little nightspot. I slipped a little but it was worth it!

 

Gator tail and whiskey. Om nom nom!

 

3) I didn't quite finish The Language of Flowers. I'm close enough that I'll definitely finish by Saturday and it's a tough one to put down, but I just didn't make it. Imagine how different your world would be if you grew up in the foster system, completely detached, regularly neglected, abused, shuffled around, and constantly disappointed. What if your only meaningful way of communicating was through the language of flowers and their meanings? It's beautifully written, both tragic and triumphant at the same time. If you like to read, make sure to put this book in your queue.

 

4) Because of the business of the weekend, I didn't get the letter written that I meant to write to my new pen pal. I'm sure she'll understand being a mother herself. I'm going to try to hammer it out on my lunch hour and tonight after Sam is asleep. I think one of my favorite things about life is that it's almost never too late. I always wanted a pen pal as a kiddo but for whatever reason never did anything about it until now, 30 years later.

 

5) I got my toiletries started but nothing else done for packing. It's not the end of the world. I DO still have 10 days. I was just being an overly excited, overachiever. I did build a lay-out for packing this morning that I think will make it much easier when it comes time to  put the clothes into the suitcase. I must admit, I totally stole the idea for the layout from my friend Tristan's blog. You should check her out HERE. She's got great travel, beauty, and fashion tips and ideas!

 

Steal this packing planner!

 

AND, my mommy center/built in bookshelves/organizing area that Jeff is building for me is coming along. I can't wait to have a space for my laminator, printer, Cricut, project books and binders and office supplies!

 

It's going to be rad!

 

Back to that living in the moment comment from right at the beginning of the post. I'm not great at it. I'm always planning something or thinking about the next something that's going to happen. Thankfully, because of my church classroom and our reading yesterday of Mindful Monkey Happy Panda, I was reminded again to slow down, BE in the moment. Do I think it'll always happen? No. Will I work harder in the important moments like alone time with Jeff and Sam? YES!!!!! Thanks 2-5 year olds for reminding this grown up of a simple but important lesson! Don't just read this book to you kiddos, read it for all of you!

 

 

5 Things I Am Looking Forward To Doing This Weekend

I am (mostly) a lover of living in the moment. I don't like the thought of wishing my days away and I truly think there's something worthwhile and beautiful in every day. Maybe it's a little Pollyanna but life is a garden, and I dig it! Today though, I'm glad it's Friday. For some reason I've been walking around this week in a bit of a fog. Luckily I snapped out of it at about 5:30 AM mid-run. I'm ready to embrace this weekend and all that it holds from the tiny to the giant.

 

1) I am looking forward to buying Sam some more big boy undies. I got one pack at a buy 2/get 1 sale at Old Navy last weekend and I can not get them off of him. In fact, he didn't wear a pull up all afternoon yesterday at my Moms, just the undies. Sooooooo, he peed off the porch and maybe pooed in the yard. No accidents in the undies! This is one of those giant ones. I wondered what it was that would be his "thing". You know, the thing that is the turning point in potty training. Turns out, it's the feel of wearing the undies with no pull up underneath.

 

He's such a boy. Having a pee outside.
No more diapers. He wants underwear!



2) Tonight one of Jeff's classmates is having a reunion of sorts for their graduating class. I've never met any of Jeff's high school friends and am looking forward to any stories they might share about my sweet, fabulous hubby as a teen. It was a very small school and his class was only about 30 people so I'm sure they all have stories on one another.

 

3) We are reading a book titled "The Language of Flowers" by Vanessa Diffenbaugh for my book club. Our next meeting is the 26th, and I have about a third of one of the best books I've ever read to finish before then. I intend to read while Sam naps and after he's in bed for the night to complete this delicious, rich, compelling story.

 

4) I have a new pen pal from the UK and I can't wait to write her back!

 

5) We are leaving in a barely double digit number of days for a grown up/no baby on board trip to Las Vegas to celebrate my 40th birthday. We previously went to Las Vegas for our first anniversary and had a bit of debauchery on the calendar. Two weeks before we left though.....surprise, I'm pregnant. We had a phenomenal time eating and seeing shows but it was a different trip than we'd planned. All that said to say this. I am over-the-top excited and am getting the suitcase out to start packing this weekend.

 

 

 This will be our view while I eat, for the first time since June 20th, a really-bad-for-me-but-so-deliciously-worth-the-wait meal including meat, cheese, dessert, wine, cream, butter.....whatever they've got.

Bring on 40, bring it on Vegas, and bring on the French food! 

Sink or Float, More Bath Time Fun

After Monday night's bath tub painting fun, I wanted to provide Sam another activity that would be fun in the tub, arguably one of his favorite places. So we played sink or float. I gathered some random toys from the myriad locations that they land around the house. I tried to get an even number of things that would sink and things that would float. I also wanted to put a couple things on there that would float when empty (the large red train car pop bead and the lady bug squirt toy) but sink when water got in them. Here are all of the sink or float test toys.

 

 

We handed Sam each toy and asked if he thought it would float or sink.

He's really starting to get into it now!

 



 

A couple of the items I thought would sink floated (Daniel Tiger and the purple car). When we ran out of toys on the tray he asked for more so I grabbed some Duplos and sponges,  because that's what was within reach, and we kept going.

 

I was kind of surprised by the activity's results. Sam was right better than half the time and more importantly wanted to know why some things float and some sink. While a two he's not ready for discussions about mass, volume, density, etc., it got his wheels turning and that's what I wanted, to get him thinking about how, and why, things work the way they do. Plus, it was FUN! Even cleaning up was fun. We used the muffin tin from Monday night's tub painting so that the toys would be able to dry out well before putting them away.

 

He loved trying to fit all of his fun toys into the spaces in the muffin tin. I loved watching his mind work. AND, we already had everything to play with right in the house. I adore free fun!

The Easiest (And Cheapest) Bathtub Paint

Sam has been having kind of a tough time the last couple days. We've been working on more rules and higher behavior expectations as discussed in THIS previous post (he's not a fan), he is cutting a couple lower molars which has resulted in a runny nose and a low grade fever AND he's two. He's just two. Two is hard sometimes. I thought a special, fun bath time treat might be just the thing to bring some cheer to his little heart.

 

You can, and will, find a drazillion recipes for homemade bathtub paint on Pinterest and elsewhere on the internet but this is by far the cheapest, easiest kind I've come across. I purchased a can of shaving cream, food coloring, foam paint brushes, and a muffin tin from Dollar Tree. We had a pair of leftover chopsticks from a carry-out meal, and lots of little puff balls and Q-tips around the house already. And of course, we had our fingers and hands with which to paint.

 

Oooooo, the anticipation. Hurry up mooooooommmmyyyyyyyy.

 

 

I'm so excited to get started!! I've got my paint brushes ready.

 

Mommy put the color in the shaving cream. Time to mix, mix, mix.

 



 

Messy play rules!

 

The aftermath. Yes the water looks like toxic waste when you're done. And yes, because Sam is blond, we had to run fresh water from the tap to wash his hair so it wouldn't be toxic waste colored also.

 



 

Filling the tin with water and dumping it over and over again turned out to be a fun game for Sam also. I took this opportunity to run some water over Sam's wall paintings so it wouldn't stain. I don't really think there's enough food coloring in the shaving cream to stain but why risk it?

 

Sam was interested in how different items would paint the walls so I think next time I'll add some different types of brushes, cotton balls, kitchen tools, leaves, toys, and whatever else we can find to test that question.

 

Happy painting!

 

 

My Modern Day Parenting Isn't In A Crisis, Not Necessarily

A couple days ago, I stumbled across an article titled 5 Reasons Modern-Day Parenting Is In Crisis, According To A British Nanny by author Emma Jenner. Jenner is the Author of Keep Calm and Parent On and the Star of TLC's "Take Home Nanny". I'm not going to lie, the title alone made me little defensive and quite skeptical. I know I'm not the perfect parent by any means but who doesn't think they're doing a PRETTY good job?!?!

 

Then I read the article. It confirmed for me that I am in fact doing a pretty good job, a little bit great even. But it also opened my eyes to a couple areas that I have committed myself to working on in the name of a healthy, happy, well adjusted child. That's what I get for poo-pooing the article. So here's what I learned from my read.

 

I do in fact suffer from a fear of my child. Not in the traditional sense that I think he'll do something awful to me but in the sense that I wouldn't pass Jenner's "sippy cup test". The sippy cup test is actually a regular fail for me. If I get Sam a water and he sees that it's in the "wrong" sippy cup, he begins to through a fit and rather than fight him, I've always just poured it into the "right" cup. So now I have given him the power, created a situation in which he knows he gets his way with mommy if he throws a fit (super bad lesson) AND created another dish for me to wash. Same goes for Cheese-Its instead of pretzels, or red jammies instead of motorcycle jammies.

 

I also get super wound up, stressed, and overly accommodating at restaurants. Luckily he's got pretty great manners in general. He says please and thank you. He says bless you when someone near him sneezes. And he says "sorry" without prompting when he gets overzealous and accidentally hits, headbutts, or scratches. Restaurants can be a different, exhausting story however. I think I fell victim to the "That's just the way it is with kids" mentality. Wrong. I will learn to expect more of both myself and my child. That's not to say that I think he will be able to sit through a two hour, formal, white table cloth dinner. Duh, he's three. But I will expect him to leave his shoes on, not lay on the floor under the table, scream like a banshee, or throw food. Madame Jenner, consider the bar raised.

 

Man this shrimp cocktail is good! Awesome behavior
at a fancy restaurant for my mom's birthday!

Luckily because

A) I had great parenting role-models growing up

B) I'm not the kind of person who believes that my child doesn't make mistakes or is never at fault

C) I can recognize and correct potential issues with my parenting

D) I'm not afraid to say no sometimes

E) I want to be his parent, not his friend,

I fully believe that I am not raising an entitled, impatient, rude, selfish, ass of a human.

 

I hope you'll use this as a chance for some honest evaluation and reflection as I did.

 

See the full article HERE. 

This Is A Tough One-Finding The Only Child Silver Lining

I'm feeling a little sad about Sam being an only child today. I am almost always okay with the situation because I grieved the lack of future children being possible more than two years ago now, but some days are just tough. Some days I just want to scream "IT'S NOT FAIR, I WANTED THREE!!!!!!". I found out yesterday that a second cousin I grew up with was having her third and the wound was flayed wide open again. I'm happy for her, I really am, and I hope it's not unforgivable to be sad for myself at the same time.
 

Just after Sam was born, my liver enzymes and blood platelets went all wonky. By wonky, I mean things got scary and a liver specialist had to be called in. I was confined to the bed and I had these particularly awful, and constantly inflating and deflating, bladders on my legs to prevent blood clots 24 hours a day for 5 more days. They also doped me so hard that I only remember snippets between the liver specialist consult and the removal of my IVs. Worse than my worst ever drunk.


Turns out I had developed HELLP Syndrome. HELLP syndrome is a life-threatening pregnancy complication usually considered to be a variant of preeclampsia. It is a group of symptoms that occur in pregnant women who have:

H -- hemolysis or the breakdown of red blood cells

EL -- elevated liver enzymes

LP -- low platelet count
 

There are scads of resources if you'd like to research further but for the purposes of this post, suffice to say, it's gnarly. It's also likely to return in subsequent pregnancies potentially endangering the lives of both mom and baby. For many reasons too scary and sad to think about, should I become pregnant again, the risk is just not worth it according to my doctors. So we are a family of three. Many people have suggested, and I have investigated, adoption. I am adopted so I am a huge supporter of adoption in all it's forms but after much soul searching, I think maybe this is what my family was meant to look like. I've not completely ruled it out, but today my heart says "Look at what you already have. Look how lucky you already are.".
 

 

SO, here is the silver lining (for me) to having an only child who is almost 3.
 

1. I sleep through the night, every night.

2. Soon, no more diapers......ever, ever, ever again.

3. We have our routine. Every one knows the routine. The routine won't have to be rewritten.

4. Our financial resources will not be split further, now for expensive baby items and holiday gifts, or in the future for college tuition and weddings. We also have more money with which to travel, explore, and have adventures.

5. Nursing is a pain in the ass AND boobs!

6. Every month it seems like I have to carry less and less accoutrement when we leave the house and it's fabulous. It's also great to get rid of baby gates, fireplace bumpers, high chairs, etc.

7. Lots more activities are open to us without baby slings, carriers, and strollers, like cave exploring and hiking.

8. Christmas, Easter, birthdays, story time, etc. is for all of us now. Not just for the pictures or for me and Jeff.

9. No more carrying F-ing car seats onto the plane. I can check it!

10. The rounds of immunizations (i.e. looks of betrayal on my child's face while I hold him down for shots) are over until he starts school.

11. I'm over the brand new, shiny baby phase. He's got bruises and mosquito bites and it doesn't freak me out anymore.

12. I don't have to smell baby spit-up until I have grandchildren.

13. Sam gets my full, undivided attention, energy, and mommy heart space.

14. I don't have to break up fights about whose toys are whose, or stop siblings from "I'm not touching you" games in the back seat of the car.

15. Babysitters are cheaper with only one.

16. My body is now, and will always be, mine.

Life really is a beautiful dance, and my dance partners are so perfect for me!

Science Is Fun-Dancing Milk

Color, science "speremints", and messy play. These are three things that really trip Sam's trigger. This fun project is something I saw recently on a friend's Facebook page and just knew he would love to play with. We made a bubbly, wiggly, gyrating, dancing color wheel with a plate, milk, food coloring, dish soap, and a Q-tip. 

 

 

Pour enough milk onto a plate to cover the bottom. 

Drop food coloring onto the milk.  

Dip a cotton swab in dishwashing detergent liquid. 

Give your kiddo the coated swab so he/she can place it in the milk at the center of the plate. 

 Don't stir the milk; it isn't necessary. The colors will swirl on their own as soon as the detergent contacts the liquid.

Sam could only be so still with the soap and the cotton swab. The initial reaction of the food coloring in the milk was to make a fantastic star burst. Once he saw that he wanted to swirl and twist the cotton swab in the colors. Ok, that's not exactly following the directions but he was having a blast  oooo-ing, ahhh-ing, and generally loving the experience so whatever. It was his experience to enjoy.

 



 

Here he is going back for more soap. I do wish I'd waited until the milk was room temperature as that evidently works better in this experiment but as soon as Sam saw me setting up the supplies, he pulled up a chair and got excited. That's really the point of cool, fun projects like this anyway isn't it? To get kids excited about science in a hands-on way.

 

Mission accomplished once again!

 

We attempted to get video of the color changing magic but they just didn't turn out to be of very good quality so I found links to much better videos HERE and HERE.

 

If your kiddo is old enough to want to know, and be able to understand, how it works, here you go. Thank you Steve Spangler Science for the following explanation.

 

Milk is mostly water but also contains vitamins, minerals, proteins, and tiny droplets of fat suspended in solution. Fats and proteins are sensitive to changes in the surrounding solution (the milk).

The secret of the bursting colors is the chemistry of that tiny drop of soap. Dish soap, because of its bipolar characteristics (nonpolar on one end and polar on the other), weakens the chemical bonds that hold the proteins and fats in solution. The soap's polar, or hydrophilic (water-loving), end dissolves in water, and its hydrophobic (water-fearing) end attaches to a fat globule in the milk. 

The molecules of fat bend, roll, twist, and contort in all directions as the soap molecules race around to join up with the fat molecules. During all of this fat molecule gymnastics, the food coloring molecules are bumped and shoved everywhere, providing an easy way to observe all the invisible activity. As the soap becomes evenly mixed with the milk, the action slows down and eventually stops. 

Try adding another drop of soap to see if there's any more movement. If so, you discovered there are still more fat molecules that haven't found a partner at the big color dance. Add another drop of soap to start the process again.

 

Lake Travel With A Toddler

We have traveled with Sam since he was 4 months old. He has slept in motels, hotels, inns, family's homes, and the car and he's always done great so far. One place we hadn't been was the lake. My parent's had a boat from the time I was 10 or so until the last one sank during an ice storm a couple years ago so the lake was old hat for me. Jeff sinks like a stone in the water however so he'd never expressed a desire for a trip to any of our myriad area lakes. It didn't help the situation either that we didn't really have intimate access to accommodations anymore since the sad loss of the aforementioned boat.

 

Several weeks ago, one of our friends suggested a trip to his family lake house for the Fourth weekend. Not being one to pass up a trip away from home with no lodging cost, I jumped at the chance. Water centric travel is a whole different kind of trip with a toddler than anything we had done before and I learned a couple things.

 

1. Tire them out just a little before you get in the car for 2 hours. I try to do this with all car travel but especially something brand new! The lawn was overgrown. Perfect opportunity to walk some wiggles out before a road trip.

 

Mowing the lawn with Daddy.

 

2. Get your kiddo used to his/her life preserver BEFORE you need them to wear it. Sam had had his on briefly when we purchased it but wearing it for hours on a hot dock and a hot boat is a whole different prospect. They don't care about the safety of it, and you can exhaust yourself worrying and following them around if you take it off even for one minute. And just try to explain that it's lake law. HA! It was a bit of a struggle.

 

3. Take your toddler cot, even if you are staying in a home with available bedding. This is a good piece of advice no matter where you are staying. Sam knows our Regalo is HIS bed, and it's a sense of security and familiarity in new, overwhelming series of situations and stimuli. Read more about this indispensable travel accessory HERE.

 

4. Take LOTS of snacks. Somehow, sitting around a dock, in the hot sun, relaxing and hanging out makes a 2 year old constantly starving. Plus you need to feed the fish and geese, right? Make sure to take lots of sunscreen too, especially if there are no other littles from whom you might poach a little sun protection.

 

Geese love Cheese-Its!

 

5. Take familiar toys. Another sort of general piece of advice but in this case, in addition to his bedtime friends, I packed some of his tub toys and some of the things he likes to play with in his inflatable pool in our back yard. Water toys are important because you may discover, as I did, that your kiddo WILL NOT get in the water. If you have water guns, you can cool yourself down too since you may not get to spend any time in the water.

 

6. If your kiddo is a scheduled one, make your own schedule. We were at a friends house as I mentioned. They had all of their own plans, food, scheduling, and routine. Their youngest  is 14. They eat dinner at 7 (or later). The kiddos stay up until 10 or 11. In short, nothing worked with Sam's schedule. And no, I'm not a complete freak, only a little crazy about his schedule because I know what he's like if we deviate too much AND it's me and Jeff that have to manage the fallout. I did let him stay up to watch the fireworks Friday night and I was terrified I was ruining the whole weekend by tempting fate that way but thank God he slept until 8:30 the next morning and woke up in a fantastic mood.

 

7. Take 4 times as many "swimmer" diapers as you think you'll need. They are fantastic at not absorbing liquid from the outside but you know what? They also don't absorb any liquid from the inside. One hands soaking pee bomb of a diaper will teach you quickly to change them often if they're wearing those things.

 

8. Be careful with the special treats. Once again, good advice wherever you are, but when you're with friends whose kids are drinking soda and you think you're just giving in once, you aren't. Then it's an every meal, every snack, every time they see one of the older kids crack a bottle or can, every hour kind of monster. An example of a good special treat we tried out was a huge, lovely surprise for Sam. He's a very rolly-polly sleeper so I've never let him sleep on a grown-up bed before. He was so excited and happy for the chance!

 

My angel's first time in a big boy bed.

  

9. If you're at a friends house and your toddler wants to vacuum, let them vacuum. Or dust, or sweep, or wash dishes, or roll balls across the pool table, or pack and unpack your suitcase 10 times, whatever it takes because come on, this is your vacation too.

 

10. Relax and have fun. There are a lot of opportunities to admire the beauty all around you. This is as much advice for me as it is for anyone. Relaxing doesn't exactly come easy to me. I'm improving. Just look at that sky. How serene is that fairly still water and gorgeous rays coming out of all sides of the clouds? A view like that certainly helped!

 

 

 

 

 

Bikini Wax? Did I Go For It......You Bet Your Ass I Did

Last Saturday at my book club, my friend Julie had an awkward question to ask. She is an amazing esthetician and had just returned from a salon show in Las Vegas. She has decided to use a new kind of hard wax for bikini waxes and needed some "models". My immediate question was "Are you going to TAKE PICTURES?!?!?". After a 10 minutes holding our sides, a couple of us falling off of our chairs, style laughter from all of the girls, she assured us that she would not in fact take pictures. And because she needed models to practice on, there would be no charge this first time. What the hell, let's do this.

I checked in at the salon and she took me back to her work room. Every time I've ever been in there for a facial or eyebrow wax, the lights have been dimmed to a relaxing, peaceful spot to facilitate a calm, spa atmosphere. Not this time! I think they were about 600 Watt bulbs in the sockets. And I was already kind of anxiety sweating anyway. then I turn to her chair and see this.

OH! MY! GOSH! Tension broken. You've got to freshen up before your friend gets to the job of waxing away months of unwanted hair right? Why not do it with an I Love My Muff towelet? These things are brilliant. What a way to break the awkwardness in an inherently uncomfortable (at first) situation. Next to the muff freshener was a little cup of numbing cream, (thank you very much!) and a towel to cover up with that at first glance looked to be the size of a postage stamp, eeeeeep!

Here we go. Dancer's pose assumed. For the uninitiated, the dancer's pose is one leg straight, other leg bent outward with the bottom of that foot touching the first leg's knee. On to the waxing. Hot, melted, smurfy blue wax is spread across the hair removal area. This particular wax hardens so quickly that within seconds I felt like a candle. A strange, bright blue, sweaty candle. It was an odd sensation to say the least. The nice thing about the hard wax is that it hardens on the skin enough that it doesn't require strips for removal. No strips, just a hand pulling the skin taut, then RIP!

Ok, that wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated. Several strips in, the teensy, tiny towel flipped off of me but by then I was so comfortable in the moment that I just didn't care anymore. Let's keep going. Good job! More, more! We did stop short of pre-pubescence. It's not my favorite look and frankly the wax was a touch too warm on the more tender areas.

I really thought I was going to be supremely uncomfortable having my friend since the first grade all up (or is that down?) in my business, but I honestly think because we were gabbing as we always do, it made it a much more comfortable, less unpleasant, experience. In fact after we were done, I hopped straight out of the chair and grabbed my undies and skirt while she cleaned up her supplies with nary a break in the conversation. How liberating!! Best part, I'm all ready to go to the lake, with no razor burn, for the 4th holiday!

Verdict? If you are even sort of thinking about getting a bikini wax, research your options and if a hard wax procedure is available in you area, make the call and go! Even better, if you have a friend who is a salon professional, it isn't weird unless you let it be because A) it's their job, and B) their friendship probably has nothing to do with your hoo-haw anyway :).

In other news, Sam really didn't get the full enjoyment out of our fireworks last year that he's clearly going to get this year. Check out his "citement" face.

And this was just from a little preview. I didn't even get the main bag of works out yet.

Managing Your GIANT Papers, Posterboard, Foam Sheets, Etc.

 I just love finding perfect storage solutions at really discounted prices! I have a miscellaneous collection of large paper and foam products. Some are left-over foam from cutting out facial features for the monsters I made for Sam's second birthday photo booth. You can see the green monster behind Sam in this photo.

 

 

Some are from various photo matting projects. Some are for an awesome project I can't wait to do for Halloween this year. Check it out.

 

 

Some are scraps of posterboard that we've made a million products from. And some are just giant posters I've saved from work events to draw on the back of or rip up for collages. I buy things I know we'll use when I see them on sale and there are always left-over pieces and scraps from our projects. These pieces and scraps were stored in 6 separate locations within the house, garage and shed. They get bent, smudged, and torn in several of those locations. I knew I had to find an affordable solution.

 

I rarely frequent the "real" artists section of my local craft store because I am a terrible drawer/painter and the supplies are usually kind of expensive. I do love the 40% off signs though and was led down the sketch book/charcoal/easel aisle by just such a sign.

 

Yay, I found the perfect thing. A 24"x32" Filexec Black Carry All Artist's Portfolio. It had been $14.99 but with 40% off, it came to $8.99. I'll definitely pay $8.99 plus tax for organizational piece of mind!

 

Filexec Black Carry All Artist's Portfolio

 

Okay, so one of the pieces of mat board sticks out of the top and I can't zip it as a result. Who cares! It's all in one place, and easily flip-through-able to find just what I need in a flash.

 

Keeps your eyes open for those 40% off signs, even in aisles you never go down.